Dear Lisa
by SeaSpectre160
Summary: The quest to kill Savage as documented by Leonard Snart, Crook, Klepto, and Robber of ATMs. Eventual Captain Canary. Second in 'Long Way Home'. Captain Canary Awards 2016 Nominee for Best Canon-Compliant Fiction!
1. Proving History Wrong

**So this is just a little something to work on when I'm stuck on my various other fics, but I will TRY to update this every Thursday. Keyword being 'try' here. Basically, Leonard keeps a journal throughout the series documenting the events of each episode from his perspective, and writes them as if he's writing letters to his sister. I'm trying not to do the same thing as Joella's 'Tip of the Iceberg' (which is a good fic and I advise you to check it out if you haven't already). Later chapters will probably be shorter than this one; Chapter 2 is done, and it is shorter. Len just has a lot of exposition to get through with this one.**

 **This will be Captain Canary, because Captain Canary is canon as of Ep 15 (still pissed at how that ep ended). One thing I don't like, though, was how it was handled up to that point. It felt like they would drop some hints in a couple episodes and then have absolutely nothing for a few more, and it all felt rather sporadic. I love the ship, but I think the writers could have been a bit more consistent with it so that the developments in their relationship in 'Destiny' didn't feel so rushed, like the writers were trying to squeeze it in after a dry spell in Len/Sara interaction.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow or any of its characters.**

 **WORD COUNT: 2041**

* * *

 _Friday, October 17_ _th_ _, 1975_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _Yeah, I'm not going with the whole 'Dear Diary' crap, but maybe it feels less like I'm writing a diary if I pretend I'm writing letters to you._

 _So yeah, the date's not wrong, and no, I'm not writing this as some super-genius three-year-old. You see, two days ago, I was knocking over the CC Bullion Exchange with Mick, and as we were making our getaway, we nearly ran over some lunatic who stood in the middle of the street and knocked us out with some freaky flashing thing. The next thing I knew, we were waking up on a rooftop with six other people. One of them was Martin Stein, that professor who was thought to be killed in the PA explosion but turned out to be alive. He's also a friend of the Flash – I sometimes cased STAR Labs when I got bored last summer and saw him going in and out of there a lot. Then there were two people in bronze armor who looked kind of like those pictures on the internet of people with wings flying around St. Roch, and that Ray Palmer guy from Star City. He also was thought to be dead in an explosion and turned up alive._

 _Basically, we were surrounded by heroes. The flying girl even said she and her boyfriend knew the Flash and the Green Arrow._

 _Point is, we then got approached by some guy in a trench coat – the same nutjob we nearly turned into roadkill – who said he was from the future, and he went on into a spiel about how some guy called Savage was going to take over the world 150 years from now and he wanted our help to stop him._

 _I told him there was no way I was joining up with a bunch of heroes, but then he told us we would be famous legends, or something like that. Palmer seemed to be sold by that, the idiot. Mick and I walked away, and it sounded like one of the others was going to do the same – smart kid._

 _Then I got to thinking. We were being given a chance to_ _travel through time_ _. All I could think about was the sort of opportunities that could give us. Where we could go, what we could steal. I told Mick just that, and we decided we were on board after all, and we'd probably get to kick a lot of ass along the way._

 _Confession: that's not the only reason I decided to go. It's just the only one I told Mick._ _The Flash once visited me in prison after I iced Dad. He told me that I didn't have to let my past define me, and that I could do better. Dad's gone. Half the reason I became a criminal was to prove that I was better at it than he was, but look how that turned out. He's dead now, and he went out knowing that I cooperated with a hero. Maybe I want to be more than just some low-life crook people look down their noses at. Maybe I want to be remembered for something else._

 _I really have no clue._

 _Well, now that the introspective crap is out of the way, back down to business._

 _We showed up at an empty parking lot. I honestly wasn't sure where to go, since I never bothered to look at the address Rip (the time-traveller) gave Stein before I left. I had to stake out STAR Labs and spotted Palmer leaving – probably saying goodbye to his pals there – and we followed him. The looks on their faces when we actually showed up were kind of hysterical. And we weren't the ones who showed up with an unconscious guy in the car. Apparently the kid who was planning on turning Rip down was partnered with Stein in some way, and the old man actually roofied him to bring him along. Mick's still bugging him for a sample._

 _I figure I should give you a cast of characters at this point._

 _You know me and Mick, two master criminals with fire and ice guns._

 _Stein and the kid – Jax – are apparently that 'Burning Man' who appeared in the tabloids last year – sorry, Stein was. Seems it takes two of them merging into what he calls 'Firestorm', and Jax is his second other half. The first one died closing that big black hole last May, and was_ _married to Caitlin from STAR Labs. Small world. Stein comes off as stuffy and arrogant – we're going to have some problems there. From my first impression, Jax is alright, but I've barely known any of these people a day._

 _Palmer's got some high-tech suit he built himself that lets him fly around and shrink and shoot lasers. This is what happens when billionaire techies get bored, I guess. He's one of those overenthusiastic, optimistic people that remind you of a puppy dog. The annoying kind of puppy dog that won't shut up. Two minutes in his presence and I wanted to ice him, but his brains could be useful._

 _As for the bird people, they're not actually dating. Or they are. It's really hard to tell. They're sort of as old as Savage (who is apparently immortal and 4000 years old), except while he can't die, they reincarnate over and over and he kills them over and over. He's killed them 206 times. The guy, Carter, joined because he wants it to stop at 206, and he figures having a team will tip the scales. Kendra thinks joining this gig will make it 207, and I guess they had a big fight over it and Carter won. She was_ _not_ _pleased to be there. Carter said he remembers all 4000 years of his past lives, and how he and Kendra are soulmates. Kendra barely remembers any of it, and only met Carter and started remembering 2 months ago, and I think his 'soulmate' talk kind of creeps her out a bit._

 _And then there's Sara. Looked like an ordinary girl at first. From what she and Palmer were talking about before Stein showed up – yes, I was eavesdropping, what else would you expect? – she's been trained as an assassin, so she's not just a pretty face. Then she told me later that she was dead for a year. And no, she didn't tell me how the hell she came back, but she did call me out for staring at her ass. What can I say? She's got a good one._

 _If you actually wind up reading this, Lisa, don't smack me. This wasn't actually meant for your eyes. So_ _stay out_ _of my journals. I know where you hide yours._

 _And then we have Rip. I_ _really_ _don't like him, for reasons I'll go into later._

 _He showed us his huge time ship, which looked like something off an episode of Star Trek. Then he took us to St. Roch in 1975 and_ _then_ _told us about the side-effects of time travel, which include nausea (Mick threw up), vertigo (Palmer face-planted into the floor right in front of me), temporary blindness (Stein), and bleeding behind the eyeballs (thankfully none of that happened on this trip). The rest of us just got mild headaches and were disoriented for a minute or two. And this was a 'short' jump of about 40 years._

 _And just when I thought we'd be having some fun, Rip went and benched me, Mick, and Sara, because he didn't need crooks or killers yet. He took the rest to talk to some historian who knew a ton about Savage and was going to die soon so that they couldn't change his actions so drastically it could alter time. Stein called it brilliant, Kendra called it depressing. I'm with Bird Girl on this one, but if Rip wants to be all anal about the timeline, it is the most practical route._

 _So I was stuck on some time ship with Mick and Sara and Jax, who stayed behind out of protest, and would rather hang with a couple of criminals than the guy who roofied him. Can't blame him there. Maybe he figured that since Sara has history with the other hero types, he'd be safe with her there. The ship has TV, but there was nothing good on, so Sara suggested we go get a drink. We ditched Jax – he's underage anyway, and we don't exactly have the resources to make him a fake ID – and found a dive bar. Although it turned out that the ID thing might not have been an issue, because nobody asked us for any, which is a good thing because Mick and I weren't carrying any and Sara's lists her as being born in '87. As in 12 years from now. But Jax is young enough that he still might've been carded._

 _Then things finally got fun. Sara was on the dance floor for less than five seconds before some moron came up and propositioned her. Didn't even bother to keep his voice down. Sure, I wasn't being all that subtle about continuing to stare at her ass, but I just look, I don't touch unless invited, especially not when dealing with an_ _assassin_ _. The idiot called her a bitch when she turned him down and grabbed her arm, so she broke his wrist. That was badass, plain and simple. A halfway-intelligent person would walk away, but he just smashed a beer bottle and came after her with that, right in the middle of the bar, so she beat the crap out of him and five of his buddies before they stopped coming at her one at a time. Then she invited me and Mick to join in and we trashed them. I've been in plenty of bar fights before, but this one was the most fun by far._

 _After the fight was over, we jacked a car for the hell of it – turns out pre-assassin Sara was a bit of a delinquent herself – and headed back, and that was where the fun ended. We got back to the ship to find some guy in sci-fi armor shooting at the others, so Mick sideswiped him with the car and we covered everyone as we got on the ship and got the hell out of there. Kendra and Carter tried to bring the historian along (Stein said they were the guy's parents in a past life – again, small world), but he got shot and later died in the ship's infirmary._

 _Now we get to the reason why I don't like Rip. Turns out he lied to us. The organization he works for didn't send him to recruit us and stop Savage. They told him to do nothing, so he stole the time ship and did it himself, so they sent their bounty hunter after us. That part doesn't bother me so much, but then he admitted that we were never going to be legends; he picked the 8 of us because if we got killed on this crazy mission, history wouldn't be screwed up because we were insignificant to it. We're just expendable cannon fodder. I get why he's pissed at Savage, because the jackass apparently killed Rip's wife and kid, but I won't be used like that._

 _At that point, I was ready to pack up and go home. Then Sara made an excellent point. She said that we were on a mission to take down an immortal psychopath and change history, so why couldn't we change our own role in history?_

 _So I decided to stay on. And somehow so did Mick. If history wants to call us insignificant, we'll flip history off and prove that we're not._

* * *

 **And so that's Len's perspective of Pilot, Part 1. Check back next week for part 2!**

 **Spectre, out.**


	2. A Man Down

**So yeah, here's a new chapter of 'Dear Lisa'. Thanks to everyone who's followed, favorited, and reviewed so far!**

 **I can't believe I forgot when I posted Chapter One that I did so on Wentworth Miller's birthday.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow.**

 **WORD COUNT: 1059**

* * *

 _Saturday, October 18th, 1975_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _To go with the old cliché, if you're reading this, either I'm dead or you're just too nosy for your own good._

 _I've said many times that even the best-laid plans can go sideways. We didn't have any well-laid plans today, and now Carter is dead._

 _It started off badly to begin with. Our next stop was Norway, where we were supposed to infiltrate an illegal arms auction, find Savage among the buyers, and kidnap him. Stein got us through the door, pretending to be a high-ranking member of some terrorist group called 'Scimitar' – which is a good thing, because I admittedly screwed up the entry plan. Not that I'll ever admit that anywhere other than in here._

 _Note to self: when swiping a guy's ID to gain entry, check to be sure it's a name the bouncer will believe I could have – there's no way he bought my claim that I'm half-Arab._

 _Of course, Savage turned out to be selling a nuke, so there was a lot more attention on him. There were a lot of dangerous people there – Sara IDed Damien Darhk, the guy who's been terrorizing Star City in 2016. He's well-known to the League of Assassins, the really old organization that trained her. Their leader, Ra's al Ghul (I admit I needed her help to spell that right) is hundreds of years old, thanks to some sort of Pit, which I'm guessing is what brought her back to life, and __Darhk_ _is somehow just as old. If there were any more of those at the auction, I'd start thinking this was some sort of social club for immortals._

 _Darhk probably made us the second he laid eyes on us. Stein insisted on bidding on the nuke to 'blend in', but we wound up winning and standing out._ _Darhk_ _got right in our faces, said he knew everyone in the 'business' (if he's as old as Sara says, I believe it) and didn't know us. We got made when Stein chose his words poorly, and Savage offered a discount for whoever could kill us, so naturally a big fight broke out, and Firestorm had to fly off and contain the explosion when Savage activated the nuke. We got away with nothing – actually, less than nothing. A piece of Palmer's tech got knocked off his suit and got scooped up by Savage's goons. Rip showed us what would happen by 2016 if we didn't get it back before his scientists figured out how to reverse-engineer it: his plans would be sped up by decades and Central City, at least, would be a flaming wreck. All I could think of was whether or not you were alive in that mess. Or if the city hadn't been destroyed with Mom and/or Dad dying before you could even be born. I think now I get what Rip meant when he was talking about maintaining the timeline. One small oversight could destroy everything we care about._

 _So Rip split us up into teams. Stein and Ray figured out a way to track the missing tech, and Rip sent the Prof with Jax and Sara to grab something they needed from 1975 Stein. Kendra and Carter found something in Dr. Boardman's (their historian son from a past life) journal about an ancient dagger that could be used to kill Savage, then bugged off to go try unlocking more of her memories to translate some inscription on it. Naturally, I volunteered myself and Mick to go steal the knife from its current owner, but Rip made Ray tag along, instead of going to retrieve his own lost tech._

 _It all went to hell pretty quickly with the idiot genius tagging along. How someone can be simultaneously so smart and so stupid is beyond me. The amateur fell for a dummy box barely a minute after our arrival, so Mick and I had to deal with the security guards, and then he threw a fit about us stealing some other artifacts and triggered another security measure that got me and him stuck in a cage. Seriously, a big cage dropping out of the ceiling like we were in some sort of cartoon. He was moderately useful in deactivating the alarm, but by then, the owner came into the room, dragging Mick in a headlock. Guess what? Turns out 'Sasha Mahnovski' is just an alias for Vandal Savage. I wish I'd done more research into the guy we were stealing from. Just a picture would have alerted us to that little fact._

 _He had us call the team over, to give himself a chance at offing Kendra and Carter again, but he got more than what he bargained for, because Firestorm showed up first and blasted him across the room before breaking us out. Seems their part of the mission went better than ours. I gave Carter the dagger and the rest of us held off the guards while he and Kendra went to take down Savage._

 _By the time we got to them, Carter was dead and Kendra had been stabbed, so we grabbed her and ran back to the ship. 2 days into this insanity and we're already down a man. If it were any old job, I'd say the hell with it and walk away, but not only are we stuck in 1975 until Kendra heals, but I signed on to this team, and Carter wasn't just some lackey._

 _Savage is going to pay for this. Maybe Kendra's the only one who can kill him now, but before she does, I'm going to make sure I let him know what it means to mess with my crew._

 _One other thing: I started this as just a journal that wasn't meant for you to read, Lisa, but today's been a wake-up call. Like I said, we're a man down only 2 days in, so I really don't know what's going to happen next, or if the rest of us are all going to survive. If something happens to me, sis, at least you'll understand why._

* * *

 **I feel that some simple research could've made the dagger theft go a lot more smoothly, but after the Oculus reveal, it kinda makes sense that they wouldn't do that.**

 **Also, I can't forget that Sara's sister's killer was within touching distance of the team and he got out unscathed. As an ex-member of the League, I'm not surprised he got away, but I'm betting this event ran through Sara's head when she learned about Laurel's death.**

 **Okay, so thanks for reading, and check in next week for Chapter 3!**


	3. I Had to Try

**And now for another chapter of 'Dear Lisa'!**

 **This fic exists in a series that I have yet to name, although I have been leaning towards 'Long Way Home'. Other fics in this continuity are 'Protector', 'I Pushed Him Away', and the upcoming 'Detour' and 'Father's Day'. As such, Chapter 12 of this will contain direct references to 'Protector', and 'Detour' and Father's Day' will contain references to this.**

 **I have now written up to Chapter 6 of 'Dear Lisa', but all the upcoming chapters are feeling short, and I'll probably be adding some more meat to them by the time they get posted. I've finally decided how I'm going to handle the end of 'Destiny' and all of 'Legendary', as well.**

 **So it looks like I won't get 'Detour' done until Saturday, which I marked as being 'at the latest' (as in, if I managed to finish it sooner, it would be posted sooner). 'Father's Day' is finished but MUST be posted after that, and I want to post it on the actual day, hence the June 18th deadline for 'Detour'.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow or any part of the Arrowverse.**

 **WORD COUNT: 1405**

* * *

 _Monday, October 20_ _th_ _, 1975_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _Overall, yesterday was a good day for the mission. We got Carter's body back for a proper burial and put Savage down, however temporarily. For me, personally, it was a pointless failure._

 _After Carter died, Rip decided to mope about how we couldn't do anything until Kendra recovered from her stab wound. We apparently can't do any time-jumps with a seriously injured person on board. Well, we can, but not without killing them. So he seemed_ _resigned to sitting and waiting for the ship's high-tech infirmary and Stein and Palmer to heal her up. Sara came up with some sort of idea involving a bank, but Rip wouldn't let me or Mick participate – Sara had to fight just to get him to let_ _her_ _in on the mission, and it had been her idea in the first place!_

 _So we were left with nothing to do, and I got an idea. On October 21_ _st_ _, 1975, Dad got caught breaking into Central City Museum trying to steal the Maximillian Emerald. It sent him to prison for the first time in his life. You don't remember this, but he wasn't as bad before that. I was only 3, but I remember he was a decent dad, at least. He never hurt me or Mom until he got back 5 years later._

 _I got to thinking that maybe I could change things. That if we were on a mission to stop an immortal warlord from taking over the world, changing one man's life shouldn't be that hard. That maybe I could keep him from going to prison, from becoming the monster who terrorized us for the rest of his life. That maybe we could get a better shot at a real childhood._

 _When Rip was talking to us this morning, he mentioned something called a Jump Ship. It's like a mini-jet docked on the Waverider, and it was damaged when Chronos (the bounty hunter from Friday) shot the place up. He had Jax working on it all day, and I have to give the kid credit: the 20-year-old auto-mechanic fixed a 22_ _nd_ _century_ _spaceship_ _. We… coerced him into taking us to Central City, to be our getaway_ _pilot while we robbed the museum. Mick grabbed pretty much anything he could fit in his pockets, but I zeroed in on the emerald._

 _I wish Mick had kept his mouth shut when I told Jax to take us to our old house on Hadley Ave. I didn't think the kid needed to know about my past. All he saw when he looked at us was a pair of thieves, and nothing else, and that was fine with me. But then Mick blabbed about how Dad got caught stealing that emerald and how I was trying to change that. I still gave the kid further explanation when it was over, since otherwise he might've gone and told Rip on us if he didn't understand why I did what I did. Okay, so I wasn't all that worried about Rip finding out – he brought a couple of criminals on this mission, so it's his own damn fault. And Jax did deserve an explanation for what we'd dragged him into._

 _When we got to the house, I had Jax and Mick wait outside while I went in. It never_ _really_ _hit me that I'd travelled through time until I saw the inside of the old house. Before, it was like we were just visiting some places that hadn't updated their security or décor in a while. The house was just like I remember it: Dad's beer bottles all over the place, my toys covering the coffee table. I know Dad never let you leave your toys anywhere outside your room, but he wasn't as bad back then. I had a corner of the living room all to myself; his poker parties never infringed on my space, keeping the 'adult stuff' separate from the 'kid stuff'._

 _I was just going to go in and out, leaving the emerald in the basement where Dad was planning his heist. But my plan didn't count on my 3-year-old self being thirsty and coming down for a glass of water in the middle of the night. I – he – thought I was a friend of Dad's, and I went along with it. I gave him some advice, something I had to learn the hard way: to look out for himself, to not let anyone hurt him. I'm not sure how much 3-year-old-me understood, but I had to try._

 _Dad came in at that point. He must've been in the basement working on his plan and heard us talking. He pointed a gun at my head and told me to get away from his son. As much as I know he wasn't an abusive bastard before prison, I think I forgot that he actually cared._

 _Once my kid self was upstairs in bed, I gave Dad the emerald and warned him about what would've happened if he'd gone through with the heist. I wanted to kill him again, to punish him for what he put us through. But you wouldn't be born if I ended him in '75. So I let him live._

 _And it was all for nothing; I checked with the ship's AI, Gideon, when I got back (how have I not mentioned her yet?). Dad still got arrested for the theft, getting caught trying to fence the emerald to an undercover cop. I gave him a chance at avoiding prison and avoiding becoming a monster, and he still managed to fuck it up. Rip has said a couple times that 'time wants to happen'. I think I just learned that the hard way. As much as I can't stand Rip, he has proven that he knows what he's doing when it comes to time-travel._

 _It's just… if I can't even change one man's fate, how the hell are we supposed to change the fate of the world? It's just as well that I signed on for the stealing opportunities, because now I'm not sure how well the main mission is going to turn out._

 _Even then, the main mission made more progress today than my personal mission did. Seems the purpose of Rip and Sara's trip to the bank was to try and find where Savage kept his finances. If he was crippled economically, then at least his plans would be slowed, and we'd get more time to kill him. Somehow that led to them being held captive by Savage and his followers. Gideon alerted us as we were on our way back (the Waverider was parked in_ _Germany_ _), so the three of us had to mount a rescue. Mick compared the scene to 'Eyes Wide Shut', but I personally was reminded of 'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom'. We got away with Carter's body, and Rip slit Savage's throat, but since he's not Carter or Kendra, the bastard will be back._

 _Sara explained the whole ritual later. Savage absorbs the Hawks' life forces when he kills them, which maintains his immortality, but his followers can gain another century or so if they drink their blood, which is why Savage still needed Carter. Most of his wealth comes from them; they worship him as a god, in exchange for supernatural longevity. Tempting as it would sound to live longer, I couldn't make that trade, bowing down to a rotten bastard like Savage. He makes Dad look like a saint, which you know is saying something._

 _We buried Carter and Dr. Boardman this morning. Stein and Raymond managed to pull the broken-off shards of the dagger out of Kendra, or something, and she recovered remarkably quickly after that. Let's hear it for 22_ _nd_ _century medical tech. We'll be making a time-jump to our next destination in a few minutes, now that she's in good shape again so I'm just taking the time to write this before we have to report to the bridge. 1986, here we come._


	4. Rip's a Rat Bastard

**And here's another chapter! This one's a lot shorter than the others; I partially blame it on the screwed-up way it aired. In Canada, it airs on CTV, but the official TV Guide got it wrong, so my PVR recording of the episode was 50 minutes of Superbowl and 10 minutes of the actual episode. I've had to rely on YouTube clips and other internet spoilers for the rest.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow**

 **WORD COUNT: 815**

* * *

 _Wednesday, February 12_ _th_ _, 1986_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _Rip is a rat bastard. Just in case I haven't made that clear already._

 _Maybe I should start at the beginning._

 _We landed in 1986 yesterday and got right to our first mission: busting into goddamn_ _Pentagon_ _to retrieve a file that could lead us to Savage's location. That's definitely going on the list of my Top 10 Most Ambitious Heists. It turns out I was wrong earlier when I thought we didn't have the resources to make fake IDs, because in addition our disguises, the ship was able to produce the credentials we needed to get through the doors. Too bad Gideon probably wouldn't give us IDs for any side-jobs._

 _But one thing we couldn't fabricate was a magnetic key card. My part in the plan worked perfectly; I lifted an officer's card for Sara to use to get into a secure area – and nicked her wallet while I was at it. Sara and Kendra got the file just fine, and Mick distracted the soldiers and security techs just fine, but then something went wrong when Firestorm tried to divert the power. An alarm went off and the girls got stopped and had to fight their way free, and Kendra went psycho for whatever reason. We got what we wanted, but I can't say we did it well._

 _After looking at the file, Rip calculated that we needed to head to Russia. In the middle of the Cold War (because_ _that_ _won't be any trouble at all). Chronos caught up to us when we arrived and chased us down, but Rip pulled some crazy gambit that resulted in a Russian M.I.G. shooting him down and our ship crash-landing (we were all OK, by the way). The info we snatched from the Pentagon led us to some scientist lady named Valentina Vostok, who might be connected to Savage. Ray and I were tasked with getting information on her._

 _We knew she'd be at the theatre watching a ballet performance, so the plan was for Ray to approach her and charm her, and get her to talk to him about her research, while I'd be left playing wingman. Can you believe it? Me, Raymond's wingman? Ugh. As it stood, it didn't happen that way. Valentina shut him down with just a few sentences. It was a thing of beauty, watching the Idiot Genius billionaire get turned down so easily. I bet it's been a while since he's gotten that reaction from a woman. So I stepped in, and within less than a minute she decided to skip the rest of the show and let me walk her home. I'm just that good, and the look on Raymond's face was_ _priceless_ _! Valentina even gave me a goodnight kiss after inviting me up to her apartment. I would be holding that over Ray's head for a_ _long_ _time, if not for what happened next._

 _I swiped Valentina's security card for her workplace (plus her wallet) during the kiss, and Stein used it to get in. He found out that Valentina was trying to recreate Firestorm, based simply on a picture someone took during the arms auction fight back in '75. We (Stein, Ray, and myself) went back in tonight to try and steal an important piece of equipment she'd need to do it, and that's where it all went to shit._

 _Valentina showed up while we were in the middle of the job, and Ray – the stupid, gullible, romantic,_ _fool_ _– begged me to distract her to keep her from getting hurt. I should've let her walk into the thermal core's containment unit and get fried by the radiation. Instead, the Russian bitch stuck a gun in my throat and made Ray turn the deactivated core back on. If it weren't for Stein's powers, he would've been killed by all that radiation. Valentina was_ _very_ _interested in him after that._

 _Now I can get to why Rip's a rat bastard. Mick came to back us up, but it wasn't enough. We were surrounded, and even though Jax was in the Med Bay (the others got into another tussle with Chronos while Ray and I were busy with Valentina), Rip could've sent the girls in, too. But he didn't want to risk Savage's people getting their hands on Kendra._ _I had no choice but to grab the core and run._ _Now Mick's been captured by the Russians (Ray and Stein, too). Rip had better come through with his promise to get them back. If he's going to use us as his expendable pawns, he's going to find himself on a team of one, soon enough._

* * *

 **So yeah, I can understand Rip not sending in Kendra for backup, but I think the only possible explanation for not sending in Sara was the Time Masters and the Oculus. If the TMs wanted the team to stop Project Svarog, and letting them get away with the single core wouldn't have worked, having some people getting captured was necessary. That's my theory, anyway.**

 **So check in next week for Len's thoughts on 'Failsafe', with some major dose of the beginnings of Captain Canary.**


	5. Rip's Still a Rat Bastard

**I'm mostly through Chapter 7, which is a pretty long one, probably equal in length to Chapter 1.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow.**

 **WORD COUNT: 1131**

* * *

 _Friday, February 14_ _th_ _, 1986_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _Well, we got Mick back. But Rip's still a rat bastard._

 _We spent a whole day just trying to figure out where our team had been taken, and the whole time Rip worried and moaned about what would happen if Vostok and Savage found out that Stein was not only an expert on Firestorm, but part of it. I kept having to remind him that Stein wasn't the only teammate taken. Wherever they were, we knew it was bad; Jax kept getting a lot of fear and pain over his psychic connection with Stein, and the other two may be worse off. Stein is the valuable one to their captives; Mick and Raymond would just be used as collateral. Finally, we found out where they were all being kept: The Koshmar Gulag, 'Koshmar' meaning 'Nightmare'. One thing I remember from history class was that pretty much all the Soviet gulags were nightmares, but the name tells me this one's exceptionally bad._

 _I have to hand it to Sara. She had a great idea for getting in and out of the gulag our teammates were thrown in. She suggested going to the Bratva, the Russian mob, for help. We had to go to a sauna to talk to a ranking member of the Bratva called Yuri the Bear, and I just wanted to get it over with. Why the hell do people think it's relaxing to sit and sweat their asses off in a hot, steamy room? I made Rip do all the work fighting Yuri and talking him into helping us, though Sara did what I assume was a beautiful job against his guys in the next room. Yuri got us access to a truck of black-market goods being delivered to the gulag, which got us past the gates. The plan was to locate Stein first, since Rip was obsessed with getting Firestorm out of Savage's hands,_ _then_ _get Mick and Ray, assuming they weren't all being kept in the same spot._

 _Except it wasn't that simple. Rip was_ _so_ _obsessed with the idea of a Soviet Firestorm that he showed Sara what would happen to her home if they succeeded, and told her to kill Stein if we couldn't rescue him. He wasn't even sending Jax and Kendra in, because he didn't want Savage to get his hands on the only one who could kill him or the other half of Firestorm. He was refusing to use every resource he had, but was still preparing to have a teammate killed when his half-assed Plan A failed. You know I don't turn on my crew, Lisa. I didn't approve of this Plan B_ _at all_ _._

 _But Sara was going to go through with it. I've overheard her talking with Kendra yesterday about how she didn't want to be a killer anymore, and that she was trying to be better. I guess that if anyone has the right to get sick of death, it's someone who's spent years killing and who's_ _been_ _dead for a year. But here she was, about to take a huge step back, and kill a_ _friend_ _. And Rip has actually encouraged her to be better, but now here he is, pressuring her to do the exact opposite. He's just using us as pawns, Lisa. I don't think he really cares about what's important to his crew, as long as he kills Savage and gets his wife and kid back. If he's willing to sacrifice Stein's life for the 'greater good', without even putting all the effort he can into avoiding that necessity, when will the rest of us become expendable?_

 _The actual rescue, thankfully, went better than the plan itself (for once, something goes right!). We got all 3 of our people back, thanks in part to Jax and Kendra bullying Rip into letting them help. Kendra and Rip blew up all of Valentina's files on her Firestorm project so that it can't be used again. Valentina managed to fuse with Stein and become Soviet Firestorm herself, but Jax was able to separate them. And Sara didn't kill Stein. I spent nearly the entire mission trying to talk her out of it, and finally got through to her. I had to remind her of her goal of not being a killer anymore. She thanked me after we got back to the Waverider, said that my words didn't just save Stein's life, but also her soul. It was weird. I don't think anyone's ever thanked me for helping them (aside from you, sis), and not just because I'm not the helping kind of guy. At least she didn't hug me._

 _But I'm glad she doesn't have to deal with the guilt of backsliding like that. It sounds like she's really gone through some hell in her life. I did some research on the whole crew after joining, and found out that she's the daughter of the Star City police captain. Do you remember the boat that sank 9 years ago, with the billionaire Robert Queen and his son on board? And how Oliver Queen turned out to be alive after 5 years? It turns out that Sara was on that boat as well, but her 'death' and survival didn't make any headlines. Only news sources from Star/Starling City even mentioned her, because she was a local there. Mass-media really only cares if someone lives or dies if they're rich and/or famous. But Sara spent 6 years off the grid, and I guess that's when she became an assassin. It's strange, because sometimes she seems so_ _normal_ _, and you might forget that she's seen so much awful shit in her life. I'm not even going to start on the whole 'dead for a year' thing, because I can't even_ _begin_ _to imagine what that was like. There's no way I'm going to ask her if she remembers the afterlife, or what it was like._

 _Mick, Ray, and both halves of Firestorm are in the Med Bay getting checked out right now. Mick and Ray were tortured to try and get Stein to talk, Stein was drugged and beat up a bit, and Jax hurt his leg while sprinting across the prison yard with a torn ACL (kid has guts). Once they're done, I'm busting out the high-end black-market vodka I swiped from Yuri the Bear's truck. We could all use a drink after these last couple of days._

* * *

 **So yeah, I find it rather hypocritical that in 'Blood Ties', Rip encourages Sara to 'be better', then 2 episodes later, he wants her to kill a teammate. And later he commends her for not killing Stein as if it wasn't his idea in the first place.**

 **You may have noticed that I didn't cover the end of the episode, but I'm trying to make this as realistic as possible, which means finding times in which Len could actually sit down and write. I'll be doing the same with the end of 'Night of the Hawk' and 'River of Time'.**


	6. I Messed Up

**Well, I've just come back from a camping trip, and have been missing my fanfic fix! I've fallen behind a bit in writing this; still on Chapter 7, when I'm usually one or two full chapters ahead of posting. It's just that 'Marooned' had a lot going on.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow or any characters from it.**

 **WORD COUNT: 777**

* * *

 _Sometime in 2046_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _I think I messed up big time with Mick. He isn't speaking to me anymore, but what was I supposed to do? Leave him in the future that may or may not exist after we get back?_

 _We were in the middle of toasting to our success in Russia when Chronos ambushed us. We were floating in this time-limbo place called the Temporal Zone, so we didn't simply crash in the middle of the Russian wilderness in the 80s when one of his missiles hit us. The ship's system was trashed, but Rip was able to determine when and where we were: Star City 2046. Sara and Ray were devastated; this was their home, and everything was in ruins, and things were on fire, and at first the place seemed completely deserted. Then we got attacked by some kid in a Green Arrow suit who was definitely_ _not_ _the Green Arrow they knew. Rip wanted to fix the ship and just get us the hell out of there, but Sara and Ray really wanted to know how their home got that way so they could prevent it when we got back to our own time. Sara had to bully her way onto the job when Rip took me and Mick to steal some necessary tech, because he didn't want her coming along._

 _We got separated on the way there anyway. Some fighting broke out between GA Mark Two and a street gang, and while Sara went to help him and Rip chased after her, Mick and I went to check out the looting possibilities at a nearby bank and got cornered by a different gang. Yes, somebody actually tried to rob us. Long story short, Mick killed the leader and took over the gang. We spent about an hour or so at their hangout, but I wanted to get out of there. It was… not my scene. I asked around; it seems some guy named Deathstroke came in and killed all the heroes and cops, so now criminals rule the streets. There's one vigilante running around in the GA costume, but that's it. Nothing that bodes well for any of Sara's friends and family._

 _I didn't like it. Yes, you've read that correctly. My favorite part of the criminal life is the thrill of the chase, the challenge. That's why I'd rather keep the Flash alive. This world was just full of mindless thugs and chaos. I wanted out. But Mick was in love with the whole scene, with being the leader of that gang._

 _Then Deathstroke himself showed up, and placed a bounty on Rip and Sara's heads for running with GA Junior. I wasn't going to just stand by and let my team get hunted and killed by some two-bit thug. But Mick was going to. He decided he liked it there and that he didn't care what happened to Rip and Sara. I had to bully him into helping me find them and fight off Deathstroke's men._

 _That's where I messed up. After we saved Rip and Sara, I knocked him on the head and dragged him onto the ship. Why? For starters, there's no way I was leaving him behind, and no way I was staying. The mission isn't over. And what will happen to this world when we go back and Ray and Sara warn their friends about Deathstroke? Will the future change? If Mick were to stay, would he see the world change around him, or would he vanish along with it?_

 _He's furious with me. He agreed to help us save GA Junior, who's apparently the son of one of Sara and Ray's friends (turns out most of their friends are dead, except for Oliver Queen – who is the actual Green Arrow! – and some chick who left the city when everyone else was killed), but he still isn't pleased with how I got him to do it. He accused me of changing my priorities, that I'd rather save the world than be his partner. That's bullshit. I want to stop Savage to make a point about killing my crew, and you can imagine the cred we'd get for offing a 4000 year old immortal psycho. No other reason. But what was even crazier was that Mick also accused me of having a crush on Sara. Can you believe that? Just because I get along with one of the heroes doesn't mean I have a thing for her!_

* * *

 **So yeah, Len is starting to develop feelings for Sara, but hasn't quite figured it out yet. But Mick knows his partner better than that, as mentioned in my fic 'I Pushed Him Away', also within this series.**


	7. Making a Choice

**This chapter was pretty hard, just because there's so much going on in 'Marooned'. Between the week of downtime, the engine room, and Mick's betrayal, Len has a lot to write about.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow or any of the characters.**

 **WORD COUNT: 1839**

* * *

 _Who gives a shit what the date is?_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _Mick is_

 _Mick and I_

 _Mick has betrayed us._

 _He betrayed this team, and he betrayed me, but I_ _know I betrayed him, too._

 _It's been a long, long week. After the ship was damaged, Gideon lost a lot of data we could have used to track down Savage for another attempt to kill him. Apparently she's supposed to get an update from the Time Masters when she reboots from damage like that, but since we're on their Shit List, that wasn't happening. So we were just floating around in the Temporal Zone and waiting for Rip to find something in Dr. Boardman's journal. Sara and I took up playing cards to pass the time, and most of the others would join in from time to time – Ray has absolutely_ _no_ _poker face, and I didn't even have to cheat to take his money._

 _I learned a lot about Sara this week. While we played cards, she told me about the boat she was on that sunk, about how she was sleeping with Queen even though he was dating her sister, and about the nutjob that rescued her from the water but kept her prisoner on his own boat. She didn't talk a lot about her time on that boat, but I guess that was her first taste of hell. She went back to Starling City after that earthquake a few years back, and became a vigilante alongside the Arrow. A year later, some guy trying to evade the League drugged his own daughter – a friend of Sara's – into shooting and killing her. Then he used this information to blackmail the girl's half-brother into helping him, otherwise he'd tell the League and they'd go after_ _her_ _for killing Sara. I told Sara about what Dad did to you with the micro-bomb, because I couldn't help but think of the similarities. Turns out our father wasn't the only one who would put his own kid's life on the line to get his way._

 _Anyway, a year later, her sister took her to this place where there was a pool of some kind of magic water that brings back the dead, but Sara didn't come back whole. Her soul didn't come back with her, and Queen had to call in some exorcist or occult master or whatever that he met during his exile to put it back. And there's an after-effect of being resurrected like that: she's cursed with something she calls a 'Bloodlust', a desire to kill. The only cure is to kill the person who killed her, which she wouldn't mind if that curse recognized that it was her friend's father who was ultimately responsible. But it doesn't, and she refuses to kill her friend to be free of it._

 _If you do wind up reading this information, Lisa, don't use it against her, and don't even let her know that you know. If you two wind up becoming friends, just wait for her to tell you._

 _When we weren't playing cards, I was helping Sara train Kendra and Jax. Kendra's been training with Sara for a while, now, and she has some subconscious memory of various fighting techniques she's learned over the past 4000 years, but Jax has had no training whatsoever, and I need to know he can handle himself when he and Stein are separated and can't become Firestorm. I taught him a few moves and how to shoot, though we couldn't get much done in the space of a week. At one point, Sara and I compared notes with Jax and Kendra about crazy kids in our care – I told them about the time you doodled all over Mick while he slept, the girl shared horror stories of unruly kids they've babysat, and Jax explained how he had to spend one summer dealing with this spoiled, misbehaving brat while volunteering at a kids' football camp._

 _So that was how we spent 7 long days waiting for Rip to come up with_ _something_ _. But while most of us were simply getting bored, Mick was getting restless. He still wouldn't get over me knocking him out in Post-Apocalyptic Star City. When Mick gets like that, I usually give him space, but it's hard to do when we're both stuck on the same spaceship. He can't even burn anything to take the edge off, again because of being stuck on a spaceship._

 _Then we got a diversion that I really wish we hadn't. Rip got a distress signal from another Time Master Captain, and insisted on responding. He tried to rationalize it by pointing out that we could get an update for Gideon from the other ship, but the fact remained that it could have been a trap, and we all knew it._

 _Mick went with Rip, Stein, and Jax to check out the other ship when we got there, while the rest of us stayed on the Waverider. Maybe 10 minutes later, we got a call from the other ship. Turns out the distress signal wasn't entirely bogus, because there was a goddamn_ _time pirate_ _on the other end of the call. He and his crew had captured that time ship's captain and our people, and he demanded that we surrender the Waverider. His mistake was letting Rip communicate with us. Our captain used a verbal trigger code that had Gideon flying us out of there, but one of the lasers from the other ship punched a small hole in the hull._

 _Sara and I went to try and fix it. I was able to seal the hole with ice with the Cold Gun, but that's where things went wrong. We should have just stayed put, because the bulkhead doors finally kicked in while we were on the wrong side. We had to sit and wait for Raymond to fix the hole permanently from the outside in his suit, and it was_ _freezing_ _. I know I love the cold, but I'm talking about cold that would have killed us if Raymond had been any slower._

 _We got to talking – what else was there to do as we slowly froze to death? – and I asked her what dying was like. Not the afterlife, just dying. She said it was lonely. Not scary, lonely. I told her about how Mick saved my life in Juvie. I haven't told that story to anyone before, besides you, Lis. Can you really blame me for wanting to tell her something after she's opened up to me about so much? I mean, I asked her about death, which has to be a sensitive topic for her. It's only fair._

 _So anyway, Raymond fixed the hole before Sara and I froze to death, and we walked in on him and Kendra apparently having a moment (didn't see that one coming), and for a minute it looked like things would be alright. Gideon told us that Mick had managed to escape the time pirates and was headed back to us on the Jump Ship, so we started making a bare-bones attack plan for getting the others back. Except I had this feeling in my gut that something was going to wrong. The same feeling I had during the Alexa job._

 _And I was right. Mick made a deal with the time pirates: he hands the ship and the team over, and the pirates send Mick and I home to Central City 2016. I guess Mick had had enough of the mission, and instead of helping us beat the time pirates and then getting Rip to drop him off, he betrayed us and was ready to sell out the whole team. He brought several pirates with him on the jump ship to take the Waverider._

 _This is where it got hard. I had to choose, Lisa. I had to choose between the team and Mick. At the start of the mission, it would be a no-brainer. But now… I think I've gotten attached. It's ridiculous, I know, but what this team is doing is worthwhile, and there's nobody else to do it. And I couldn't hand Sara and the others over to be killed. My code is to never turn my back on my crew, to never abandon them._

 _Mick broke that code. So I made my choice, and helped Ray and the girls fight off the pirates. I even had to shoot Mick when he nearly killed Sara. The Cold Gun was at its lowest setting, so it didn't do anything more than knock him back, but I still shot my partner._

 _After it was all over, and our boarding party managed to retake the other time ship, we had to discuss what to do with Mick. You know how he is when he's angry, Lisa: he gets dangerous. We couldn't keep him in our brig long-term, and if we were to dump him back in 2016 and leave him alone there, he'd go after the people we care about: Stein's wife, Jax's mom, Sara's sister and parents, and you. Yes, Lis, I don't think even you would've been safe, and you wouldn't even see it coming because you trust him. So I made another choice. I knocked Mick out again, and had Rip take us to the middle of nowhere. I dragged him away from the ship and woke him up. I was going to kill him, because he would have been a danger to us otherwise._

 _But I couldn't do it. Say I'm going soft, say it's going to cause more problems later, I know that's true. But I couldn't kill Mick. I just knocked him on the head again and went back. I've had Gideon save the coordinates, both in time and place, so that when we're done killing Savage and the mission is over, we can return maybe an hour later, after Mick's blown off some steam, and take him with us back to 2016 where we can at least keep an eye on him. If worst comes to worst, we can ask Team Flash to hold him in their secret prison. But I don't think he's ever going to forgive me._

 _The thing is, Lisa, that when I got back, everyone assumed that I'd killed Mick. They were looking at me and judging me, and you'd think I'd be used to that by now, but maybe it's because I didn't actually do anything this time that it's bothering me. I don't know. I don't know what to think anymore._

* * *

 **So yeah, Len's definitely noticed the change in his own priorities now, and shit has hit the fan regarding him and Mick.**

 **Like Len, I didn't see Ray and Kendra coming. I think the start of that relationship was handled rather awkwardly. First we have 'Star City 2046', which has Jax's crush on Kendra coming out of freaking nowhere, acting just as a plot device to get Ray interested in Kendra, and she states that she's not looking for a relationship. Then, one week later (for us and for them), Ray and Kendra are making out. I kind of wish Kendra had gotten more character development that didn't revolve around a romantic relationship.**


	8. An Interesting Stop

**Welcome to another chapter of 'Dear Lisa'! This week, I'm covering 'Night of the Hawk', up to a point. Prepare for the shitstorm that is 'Left Behind' next week!**

 **DICLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow**

 **WORD COUNT: 1048**

* * *

 _Friday, March 21st_ _1958_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _Well, this stop certainly was an interesting one. We've spent the last two days in Harmony Falls, Oregon, in the 1950s. It was one of those quaint little towns where everyone knows everyone by first name, all pretty and wholesome and that kind of crap. You would've either hated it or had a blast causing havoc here. The only thing wrong with the image would be the recent murders, looking like the work of a serial killer. Rip thought Savage had something to do with it, since the captain of the time ship we rescued was grateful enough to give us the software update for Gideon instead of turning us in, and it led us to this time and place._

 _Rip split us all up to investigate. Stein took a position at the local insane asylum since one of the vics worked there and left the position empty, with Sara as his nurse/assistant. You could tell she hated having to be subordinate to him, even if it was only pretend. Ray and Kendra, who apparently hooked up while I was out dealing with Mick and decided to announce it by getting caught making out in the halls the next morning, went undercover as a married couple and moved into another victim's house (because a biracial couple in the 50s is going to attract absolutely no attention). Three teens had also gone missing a few days before the first murder, so Jax was told to play 'new kid in town' and see if there was anything he could find out from the local high schoolers (because a black kid asking around about three white boys in the 50s is going to go over so well)._

 _As for Rip and myself, we went to the local sheriff disguised as FBI agents to see what he had, and came up with nothing. At least the others had more luck. Sara discovered that Savage had been working at the asylum under an alias, and Kendra and Raymond got an unexpected surprise when 'Dr. Knox' turned up on their doorstep and introduced himself as their neighbor. Kendra apparently always looks the same in each life (I'm not going to even bother to wonder about the science and genetics behind that), so he had to have recognized her right away, but she didn't think he knew her memories and powers had emerged yet. But they still got an invite to a party at his house, and Raymond discovered a locked room. Yesterday he snuck in with his shrinking suit and stole the very dagger we went after in '75._

 _Then things got messy. Jax actually got along with one missing boy's girlfriend, and even got a date with her, which didn't go over too well with some of the other kids. Two boys attacked them at the lover's lane, but then some bird-monster attacked all of them. The girl was injured and Jax tried to drive her to the ship so that Gideon could save her (as a black kid showing up with an injured white girl would be trouble), but the sheriff stopped the car, kidnapped Jax, and just left the girl to die (turns out the bastard's working for Savage). Rip and I found her in time, though, and she told us what happened. She recognized the bird-monster as her missing boyfriend, and Gideon and Stein figured the missing boys had been exposed to some mutagenic crap that turned them into those, and that they were actually responsible for the deaths._

 _We figured they were being held in a restricted ward of the asylum, since Savage was in charge of that wing, and so we came up with a plan: have Kendra approach and distract Savage at the hospital and hopefully kill him while the rest of us sneak in and get the boys and bring them back to the Waverider to cure them. But Savage figured it out, set the bird-kids loose in the hospital, and nearly killed Kendra (thankfully Ray blasted him out a window before the bastard could do any real damage). To make things worse, Jax had also been subjected to the same experiments and had been turned into a bird-monster, too. Stein and I came across him while we were sneaking in through the basement, and he was completely out of his mind. He nearly killed the both of us._

 _I could have killed Jax. I had my gun trained on him, and in that state, he was a legitimate threat to my life and Stein's. But I couldn't do it. It wasn't his fault, and the real Jax was still a member of the crew. I wasn't going to let him die, and I sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to kill him. Luckily Sara came along at the right time and knocked him out. Later, when Gideon was curing the boys, Stein called my not pulling the trigger… heroic. Said that I'd saved his life and Jax's. I didn't know how to point out that it was because of me_ _not_ _doing anything that Jax was still alive. And I'm not getting my hopes up that Jax will stop harassing me about what happened with Mick. This whole mission, he's been making his feelings clear about me (supposedly) icing my best friend, and how he doesn't trust me not to turn on the rest of the team. Part of me is glad that he feels that way. At least someone on this team is standing up for Mick, no matter what he did._

 _So yeah, Stein's cure worked on Jax, so he's heading over to the asylum to give it to the other boys. Soon they'll be back to normal and up and about, and the girl, Betty, has been healed. She was given a sedative that causes mild amnesia as a side-effect, so she won't remember her time on the ship, and Rip and Sara took her home. I have no idea how they're going to explain her trashed and bloodstained car, though._

* * *

 **Yeah, how did they explain the car?**


	9. Clusterfuck

**To explain the dates in this chapter, when Ray and Kendra are moving onto their house in the 50s in 'Night of the Hawk', Ray comments "Yesterday we kissed and today we're married." So for the team, this takes place the day after the events of 'Marooned'. Chronos hijacks the Waverider 2 days later, and when Rip and Firestorm crash and pick Ray and Kendra in 1960, it's on the couple's 2-year anniversary, meaning it's 2 years to the day since the day BEFORE the team first arrived in the 1958.**

 **Therefore: In my headcanon, the team arrived on March 20th, 1958. The day after the dinner party at Savage's was March 21st, and the fight at the hospital was that night. Chronos/Mick attacked the Waverider on March 22nd. And Ray and Kendra were picked up March 19th, 1960.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow**

 **WORD COUNT: 1302**

* * *

 _Sunday, March 20_ _th_ _, 1960_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _Yesterday was, without a doubt, the worst day I've had since this clusterfuck of a mission started. Sorry if this is hard to read, but my right hand is still not back to working properly._

 _It started out alright. We were still in 1958, the day after my last entry. Jax was fully cured, and actually apologized for giving me a hard time before. Said that I was just looking after the team when I took care of Mick. I wasn't sure how to tell him and the others that Mick is alive, not that I have to tell them now. They all know._

 _Ray and the girls were still out, packing up and, in Sara's case, saying goodbye to some nurse she got cozy with at the asylum. Then Chronos showed up. He was toting some new weapons from the Time Masters and blasted his way in, chasing the rest of us from the bridge and hijacking the Waverider, leaving three of our teammates stranded. Since it was too risky for Firestorm to merge on the ship, Rip sent Stein and Jax to escape on the Jump Ship while he and I went to try and retake the bridge. We lasted maybe a couple minutes before we both got knocked out. When I woke up, I was handcuffed to a railing on what I soon learned was Chronos's ship, and I had no idea where anyone else was._

 _That was when I got a look under Chronos's helmet. It was Mick. The bounty hunter who's been chasing us since Day One is and has always been an angry, even more homicidal Mick from the future. Apparently I'm never going to come back for him, and I hate to think why. The Time Masters found him when he was nearly dead from starvation, and trained and brainwashed him into becoming their best bounty hunter. He said it took_ _lifetimes_ _. He wants to make me suffer for betraying him, and he made it very clear how: he's planning to kidnap and kill you in front of me, and with time travel, he could do it more than once… ("Again, and again, and again" – those were his exact words). It scared me. Mick and I have had our rough patches, but even at the worst times, he never,_ _ever_ _even came close to threatening you. It's like there's nothing left of the Mick you and I knew. He even said he had become more obsessed with vengeance than with fire._

 _I know now that Jax and Stein decided to back us up and went to the bridge as Firestorm, but by the time they got there, Rip was out and Chronos had dragged me off and stolen the Jump Ship. He'd sabotaged the Waverider to crash-land in the time stream, but Gideon was able to get them to land in 1960, just a few days shy of two years later, which was as close as she could get to 1958 without landing further in the past. They found Ray and Kendra living in Hub City, but Sara had given up hope of being rescued and gone back to the League of Assassins, and that was where Mick followed them to. He left me in his ship and went to go kill them all._

 _I couldn't let that happen. So I got desperate. Thanks to the shoddy craftsmanship of the railing I was cuffed to, I was able to get to my Cold Gun, but freezing and breaking the railing wasn't going to help me. So I froze my own hand instead, enough that I was able to smash it and get out of the cuffs. It hurt more than anything I've ever felt before, and I had to keep thinking of the team, and of what would happen to you if Mick wasn't stopped, to keep myself from passing out. I still give adrenaline all the credit for my being able to run through the League's headquarters and find the main room in time, but I didn't save the team from Mick. I saved Mick from the team. They all did better than we've ever done when facing him before, and Firestorm was about to strike the deathblow when I yelled at them not to kill him._

 _Part of me still says I should've let them kill him. He's more dangerous than he ever was before, Lisa. But if I let them kill Mick without knowing the whole story, they'd never forgive me. When did that even become important to me?_

 _So, after they found out Chronos was Mick, Sara knocked him out, and she and Rip stayed to talk to Ra's al Ghul while the others took me and Mick back to the Waverider. Kendra practically had to carry me through the halls, because once the adrenaline was gone, the pain came back harder than ever. Stein and Jax found Chronos's ship after locking Mick up and got the Cold Gun back, though Jax apparently threw up when he found… well, the bits of my hand. I don't blame him; just thinking about it makes_ _me_ _sick._

 _After Rip and Sara got back, our dear captain decided to try and rehabilitate Mick and bring him back to our side. I don't see it going well at all. As much as I want the old Mick back, I don't think it's possible. He's gone through lifetimes of conditioning by the Time Masters, and he's spent lifetimes dreaming of killing us all. How in the hell are we supposed to just undo all of that? Mick's gone to a dark place, and I don't think we can ever bring him back from it._

 _On the plus side, Rip revealed something about 22_ _nd_ _century medicine he hadn't mentioned before: that it can regrow lost limbs. I got my right hand back, but it still hurts like a bitch and I spent the rest of the night in the Med Bay. I kept dreaming about the worst ways Mick could kill you, Lisa, and in one, he tried to make me choose between you and Sara. I woke up before the choice was made._

 _What freaks me out even further is why that scares me more than the thought of having to choose between you and anyone else on the team, but Sara's the one who accepted me and Mick on Day One, and she's become, dare I say it, a pretty good friend. Even when I was still trying to process what had happened with Mick, I wondered about what she was going through. She spent almost two years back with the League of Assassins after wanting to stop being a killer; how is that going to affect her?_

 _After that last dream, I decided to move to my own room, and bumped into her in the hallway. She couldn't sleep, either. I accidentally let slip about the dream, though I said I'd had to choose between you and the whole team instead of just her. She told me about how this guy on Lian Yu had tried to make Oliver Queen choose between her and another girl, to decide who would live. He chose Sara, and she still blames herself for the death of the other woman. But she also told me that nobody on the team would blame me for doing what I needed to protect you._

 _One last thing, sis: if Mick gets away from us, don't trust him unless I personally tell you that you can._

* * *

 **Len's nightmare and his conversation with Sara afterwards will be covered in the sixth chapter of 'The Darkness that Keeps You Up at Night', titled 'Choose'. It'll hopefully be posted in late October, even though it's the only chapter I've completely written for that fic.**


	10. Settling Things

**God, this chapter gave me a headache. 'Progeny' honestly wasn't one of my favourite episodes, even though the Captain Canary hints and the scenes with Len and Mick were important.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow.**

 **WORD COUNT: 1183**

* * *

 _Tuesday, November 7_ _th_ _, 2147_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _Well, we've managed to screw up another mission, but Mick is sort of back on our side. I just hope I'll be able to see out of both eyes again soon._

 _We landed in 2147 on Friday, November 3_ _rd_ _, a time Rip always knew we could find Savage in, but deemed it too dangerous to go to, but after the 50s were a bust, we didn't have many other options. He knew Savage was connected to this evil dictator named Per Degaton who would take over the 'Kasnian Conglomerate' (a country that doesn't exist yet in our time, and roughly covers Greece, Albania, Croatia, Serbia, Bulgaria, Macedonia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Kosovo, and Montenegro) in 2152, but it wasn't until this trip that we learned that the dictator was still only a kid, and that Vandal Savage was his tutor, and had more influence over the kid than his own father, the country's current leader. Everyone was arguing about whether or not we should off the kid to stop him and Savage, but Rip and I seemed to be the only ones open to the idea. Believe me, I don't like being on Rip's side in any argument, but we do have a job to do. Everyone was so worked up about killing a kid, like being young means he's innocent. I've seen kids like him in Juvie; they were worse than some adult criminals they have in Iron Heights. And this one was practically raised by_ _VANDAL SAVAGE_ _. How in the hell are we supposed to ignore that? And if his age is such a big issue, why can't we just time-jump forward a bit, to when he's older?_

 _I had other things on my mind, anyway. Sara kept trying to talk to me about Mick, or more specifically to get me talking about Mick. She'd gotten it in her head that he and I needed to work things out. As if he hadn't already made it clear where we stand. But she was right about one thing: I've been wondering what would've happened if I hadn't marooned Mick, if I hadn't left him vulnerable to the Time Masters. I screwed up in the worst way, there, and now we can't go back and fetch pre-Chronos Mick now that we have this one on board, something about the timeline folding in on itself and doing absolutely nothing to solve the original problem. I dragged Mick onto this job; I could've just gone on my own instead of convincing him to come along with me. Maybe I couldn't have seen this sort of shit coming, but in a way, this is my fault. Fucking 20-20 hindsight._

 _Back to the issues with the kid. Since everyone else was all freaked out over killing a kid, we went with the strategy of kidnapping the brat instead and removing him from the timeline that way. Rip, Sara and I put together a plan over the weekend while Kendra, Jax, and the 'Nerd Twins' (props to Sara for coming up with that nickname) did their research to find out who had built these homicidal robots that act as police in this era (something about the tech being stolen or modeled off Raymond's work). It was pretty easy to nab the kid on his way to gymnastics class yesterday, even with his six armed escorts, but it wasn't enough to change the timeline, so Rip took matters into his own hands by taking the kid on the Jump Ship and flying off. But Savage and the kid's dad found us, and we had to fight off Tor Degaton's men. It looked like the fight was starting to go our way when Raymond shut the enemy robots down, but then Savage got the jump on Sara and held her hostage. If anyone could get the jump on her, I guess it would have been the guy who's had 4000+ years to work on his fighting skills. He wanted to trade her for Rip, but then Rip showed up with the kid (I guess he didn't have the guts to go through with killing him, though I'll admit I don't know if I could pull the trigger on a kid in-person, either). He made his counter-offer: Per Degaton for Sara. Savage and the brat himself didn't want to make that trade (Savage has that kid_ _completely_ _brainwashed), but Tor Degaton made the trade to save his son._

 _So, long story short, the kid slipped out of our grasp, and according to Gideon, Tor Degaton will die much sooner – tonight, actually – and Per Degaton will be named the new leader of his country with Vandal Savage as his guardian and representative until he's actually an adult. We've actually sped up Savage's world conquest instead of stopping it._

 _But that wasn't my biggest concern last night. I decided that Sara was right: Mick and I needed to settle things. But you know us, Lis; we don't get very far with words. So I offered him a deal: if he beat me in a fight, he could take the Jump Ship and go home. Mick has always been a better fighter than me, and his training with the Time Masters has put him almost at Sara's level, possibly. I barely even landed one hit, and even hours later, I feel like one giant bruise. He could have killed me, but he stopped at the last second before landing the deathblow. I don't know why, and I'm not sure he does, either. But he told me and the team about a bigger threat. There's another group of Time Master bounty hunters called The Hunters (how imaginative) who'll be coming after us now that they've probably figured out Mick failed. And they'll try to kill him, too, for his failure. So now that we have a common enemy, he's going to be working with us again. Jax, Ray, and Stein are thrilled, Rip and Sara are glad to have him back but still a little cautious, and Kendra's accepting it, but Chronos killed her son from a past life, remember?_

 _As for myself, I still don't know if I can trust him in the long run, though. He's still mad at me for the decisions I made, and if there's one thing he picked up from the Time Masters, it's patience. He could've gone after me right after becoming Chronos, but he took his time and made a name for himself before Rip had even formed this team. He could wait until the threat to his own life is over before going back to looking for revenge. So like I said before, don't trust him unless I specifically tell you that you can._

* * *

 **I don't pretend to fully understand why Len walked into Mick's cell and proposed a cage match to the death. This was the hardest part of writing this chapter. But while Len probably knew going in that he could die and fought Mick anyway, he's omitting it in this journal for Lisa's sake.**

 **I spent several minutes looking at a clip from this episode that shows the Kasnian Conglomerate on a map and comparing it to Google Maps to guess which countries it covers. I may have missed some.  
EDIT 08/05/2016: Yep, I did miss some. Kosovo and Montenegro are right in the middle of all those countries, so Kasnia covers them, too.**

 **The mention that 'Team Kidnapping' spent a weekend planning said kidnapping comes from a few small details. In 'Leviathan', Leonard states that the clip of Savage, which took place on the first day of this episode, was on November 3rd, 2147, which will be a Friday. Yet when Len uses some futuristic goggles/glasses during the actual kidnapping, one of the bits of information it provides is that it is Monday. Therefore, Saturday and Sunday must have been spent planning.**

 **I've also decided that the conversation Savage and Per Degaton have at the end of the episode (and Savage's seriously skewed telling of the Oedipus myth) happens on the next day, and Len also writes this entry that morning. Per kills his father Tuesday night, and Savage assumes control on Wednesday.**

 **Also, one last little bit of random info: in the 'Long Way Home' continuity, Dr. Brice's first name is Petra.**


	11. Hiding Out in the Old West

**I've really been looking forward to posting this, because this is one of my favourite LOT episodes so far. I knew it would be a fun episode right from the scene where the team walks into town, everyone stares at them, and NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS in that scene, but the slow-motion and the music make the nothing all very dramatic anyway.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow.**

 **WORD COUNT: 1693**

* * *

 _Friday, April 14_ _th_ _, 1871_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _Of all the places I would've imagined Rip feeling at home, I'm ashamed to admit that I never would've picked the Wild West, despite some rather obvious hints._

 _After I finished writing my last entry, Sara came to talk to me. She spent a good ten minutes telling me how stupid it was to walk into Mick's cell and challenge him to a cage match after he threatened multiple times to kill me. She was furious with me for doing something so moronic, and I can't blame her. It was moronic. I'm hoping I'm dead if you're reading this, because you'll probably be wanting to kill me yourself. I told her about what he threatened to do to you – that's something I haven't told anyone else. I've been protecting you since you were a baby, Lisa, and that's never going to change. Mick/Chronos/whatever wanted to kill you to torment me, but I guess I was hoping that he'd leave you alone if I wasn't there to see it. You've done nothing to him. But Sara also said something else – she told me that I didn't have to be alone in protecting you, that she and the rest of the team would have my back. It's weird; I've only ever had Mick helping me when it came to looking out for you, except Gramps when you were really little. But suddenly these heroes want to help. Not just Sara; I guess I haven't always thought of her as one of the 'heroes', since Mick and I got along with her so well right from the start. The others kind of – more than kind of – looked down on us. But now she's saying they'll all help and stick by me to protect you if you ever need it… I guess this change came around a while ago, but now it's really starting to hit me._

 _Anyway, back to what actually happened. We landed in the 19_ _th_ _-century American West, more specifically a town called Salvation in the Dakota Territory, to hide out from the Hunters since it's located in some sort of temporal blind spot, according to Rip and Mick. Yes, you heard that right: Rip and_ _Mick_ _. Seems the Time Masters taught him more than just patience, which makes sense if he became some scary temporal bounty hunter with a badass reputation. He had to have known about all the practical details of time-travel Rip's familiar with, and navigation and crap. The point is, the only way the Hunters could find us here was to come here in person, so we could only wait and pray they would check the other 'fragmentations' before this one._

 _Ray was ecstatic about going out and exploring the Wild West, like a total geek, so we all got dressed up in period-appropriate clothing and went to check the town out. Well, not all of us – Rip insisted on staying on the ship and sulking, so Mick promised to keep an eye on us to make sure we didn't break the timeline (again). Yes, Mick Rory, the responsible adult. It didn't make sense to me, either, not even before he got into a drinking contest with Sara and lost by a landslide. To explain, we wandered into town, getting a lot of attention (seriously,_ _everyone_ _was staring at us), and found the saloon. We all kind of scattered once we got inside; Mick and Sara went to the bar and started the aforementioned drinking contest, while I wound up joining Stein at the card tables, though I didn't play. He got into an argument with another player over how the guy was treating the waitress, and I wound up having to shoot the bastard before he could shoot Stein. Too bad the bastard had lots of buddies in the saloon at the time. We were all kicking their asses in the brawl that followed (except for Mick, who was passed out at the bar, and I think Stein stayed out of the fight as much as possible, but I saw one of the waitresses pitching in to help), but then we got interrupted. Some scar-faced cowboy named Jonah Hex broke the fight up and then, once we left the saloon, asked us_ _when_ _we were from and demanded to see Rip._

 _It turns out that Rip spent a long time in the Wild West and became acquainted with Hex, enough for Hex to know Rip was a time-traveler. He explained to us that the man I killed was part of a big gang that's been terrorizing the town for a while, so we've got to deal with them before we go anywhere now that they're out for revenge. He took Ray to the Sheriff so the Boy Scout could offer our help, and when they came back, Ray had the Sheriff's badge – the old man was apparently quitting and packing his bags when they came in and gave him the job without Ray even realizing what was going on._

 _Hex was right; the gang leader, Jeb Stillwater, rode into town with a bunch of his guys the next morning, and Ray stood up to them, introducing himself as Sheriff John Wayne (geek). He would've gotten shot and killed pretty easily, but I was watching from a second-storey window and managed to shoot the gun out of Stillwater's hand and scare him off, for today._

 _Yes, I'm bragging, but who wouldn't? That was a one-in-a-million shot!_

 _Hex was adamant that the bastard would come back as soon as we were gone and raze the town to the ground. He referenced 'Calvert', which Rip refused to explain, but it only took a bit of poking around with Gideon for the rest of us to learn that it was a town that got destroyed by a similar gang in Oklahoma. We later found out that Rip had been in a position to save the town the last time he was in the Old West, but had left because his duties as a Time Master kept him from interfering and changing the timeline. Hex punched him when he found out Rip had known what would happen._

 _So, back to the Stillwater issue: we decided to capture him, since Ray was a big wuss about killing him now that he's the big lawman in town. Stein bribed the bartender into giving us the location of Stillwater's camp, so Ray and Hex took me, Mick, and Jax. I would've wanted Sara with us as well (Stein would've only been useful if we weren't on a 'no-future-tech-or-powers' restriction, same with Kendra), but the girls took off after the bar brawl to follow some lead on one of Kendra's past lives and possibly a clue to finding and killing Savage. Mick agreed with me, and Hex was skeptical about us wanting to bring a woman along, but let's just say his 19_ _th_ _-century notions of women have been challenged since then._

 _We spent all night riding there, and the arrest (I_ _still_ _can't believe I took part in an arrest without being the arrested) went down in the early morning, when most of the gang members were either asleep or just getting up. It almost went smoothly, which would have been a first, but then Jax was captured as we were riding away with Stillwater, and the outdated weapons we were restricted to using ran out of ammo, so we had to take off and leave him, using Stillwater as leverage so that the gang wouldn't kill him. Stein wanted to trade Stillwater for Jax, and while that would put us back at Square One, as Raymond pointed out, it was the quickest way to get Jax back, so I voted for that. But then Hex came up with something that only a cowboy would: Pistols at High Noon – a duel to decide the fate of Jax and Salvation. Ray volunteered first, but Rip overrode him and wound up being the one facing Stillwater on Main Street._

 _Frankly, I thought it was a bad idea, but we went through with it, and thankfully Rip's a better shot than Stillwater. Scratch one outlaw gang leader, and Jax was returned to us._

 _Then things went tits up, because then the Hunters arrived. They proved to be ridiculously easy to beat in a matter of minutes, even though Mick and I didn't have our guns. Rip brought his laser revolver and a spare for Hex, but didn't bother with the Cold Gun or Heat Gun. I was stuck shooting my 19_ _th_ _-century pistol from behind the corner of a building while Mick got up close and personal with one of the Hunters. Pretty much the entire town saw the fight, though, since they were all there watching the shootout. But Rip's confident they'll keep quiet since no one else would believe them if they talked. This isn't 2016 Central City, where metahumans and superheroes are a regular thing._

 _There was one catch. One of the Hunters spent his last moments gloating about the next person the Time Masters will be sending after us. She's called the Pilgrim, and her MO is to travel through time and kill her targets before they're capable of defending themselves, and before they've even committed the crimes they're being executed for. She's coming after us, but not in the present. Rip's working with Gideon to calculate when and where she'll target each of us, and has basically told us to get some rest after this action-packed day we've had. As if we could sleep knowing a time-travelling assassin could erase us from existence at any moment._

 _Wish us luck, sis._

* * *

 **A few comments: One, am I the only one who saw one of the local women kicking ass in the bar brawl? Two, Mick Rory volunteering to play the 'responsible adult'? Three, Len didn't get to have any fun in the fight against the Hunters.**

 **Sara and Leonard's conversation mentioned at the beginning of the chapter can be found in 'How Far Would You Go?', which I posted a few days ago.**

 **So, as far as 'Long Way Home' is concerned, Mick and Leonard aren't quite back to being friends again right after the fight. Mick is back on their side out of necessity, and I think working together raiding Stillwater's camp helped (he seemed genuinely concerned when Jax got captured), but they won't be patching things up until after this chapter. I will, however, cover it in Chapter 7 of 'The Darkness that Keeps You Up at Night'.**


	12. Who the Hell ARE You?

**Okay, here's my take on the years visited by the team:**

 **Mick: 1986 (NOT 1990) - Age 16 (I figure Mick was doing time for this fire when he met and saved Len)**

 **Sara: Early 2007 - Age 19 (official sources say Sara was born on Christmas '87)**

 **Ray: Dec 19, 2014 - It's after the airdate of Arrow S3 Episode 9 'The Climb', but I'm going to have to rewatch that to be sure that it would have minimal impact on the events of that season (since I figure the Pilgrim might be concerned about that, charging through SCPD aside).**

 **Leonard: Jun 2, 1972**

 **Stein: Mar 16, 1950**

 **Jax: Sept 12, 1995 (NOT 1993)**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow.**

 **WORD COUNT: 1438**

* * *

 _The Refuge – Wherever/whenever the hell that is_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _I saw you today. Spoke to you. And you didn't recognize me._

 _There's a lot to explain._

 _The first thing you should know is that Mick and I are cool again. Neither of us had been sleeping well, and we wound up having your typical midnight chat in the kitchen. Except it was anything but typical. There was a lot of brutal honesty about our priorities and how they've changed. The point is, we actually talked things out this time, and I really do believe it's fine, now. Except he kept bugging me about Sara. Looks like he_ _still_ _thinks I have a crush on her. I don't how I'm going to convince him otherwise._

 _We were able to find our younger selves and protect them from the Pilgrim. Well, not Rip's and Kendra's. Rip has affected too many events throughout time in his Time Master career that wiping him out of existence would probably cause a serious disaster, and Kendra reincarnates, so killing her is just pointless. First we found Mick in 1986, just a few months before we met in Juvie._ _It was the night of the fire he was doing time for, then. The fire his parents were killed in._ _I guess she figured it would be the cleanest way to kill him: to leave the authorities thinking he'd run off and disappeared off the face of the earth. We stuck him in the cargo hold (Jax came up with the lie that we worked for ARGUS) and then went after a younger Sara. This time, the Pilgrim didn't bother with subtlety whatsoever. She stormed into the Starling City Police Precinct in 2007, less than a year before Sara got onto the Queen's Gambit, and started shooting the place up. Mick and our Sara were able to go in, fight her off, and take 19-year-old Sara back to the ship. Mick warned us about sticking her in with his 16-year-old self, but Mini-Sara proved that she could handle herself when she slapped him across the face for trying a pervy line – even grown-up Mick found it funny._

 _But then we ran into trouble: the Pilgrim got wise and started cloaking her ship's movement through time and space, and we couldn't track her until she nearly killed Raymond in 2014. So Rip came up with a new plan: to take the rest of us as newborns so that the Pilgrim wouldn't be able to get at us at any point in our personal timelines. My baby self was grabbed right out of the hospital, and Sara and Kendra wouldn't stop cooing over him. Seriously. The reincarnated hawk-goddess and the ex-assassin were cooing and baby-talking to him/me like love-struck little girls._

 _This is why I destroyed all my baby pictures. I don't think Sara's going to let this one go._

 _Anyway, we got baby Stein and Jax next, and then Rip took us someplace safe to keep the kids and babies until the threat is over – though how we're going to deal with that is something we haven't figured out yet. It's called the Refuge, and it's where the Time Masters put orphans they've rescued in different points in time until they've grown up, at which point they become Time Masters as well. It's where Rip grew up. You'd think it'd be insane to leave our younger selves there, but Ms. Xavier, who runs the place and is apparently the closest thing Rip's had to a mother, insists "My true loyalty is to my children"._

 _Mick had a talk with his younger self. You know he started the fire that killed his parents, that he hadn't meant to hurt anyone, even if his father had been a bit of a bastard himself, but he just lost control of the flames. He still hates himself for it, so he hasn't exactly been… gentle when dealing with his younger self. He hasn't beaten himself up (literally), but he outright threatened his younger self if he hurt any of the kids while staying at the Refuge. I found out about this later (I was busy dealing with Jax, who possibly could've dropped Baby Me if I hadn't intervened) but apparently Mini-Mick said Older Mick reminded him of his father. Mick wouldn't talk about it, but I could tell it shook him up._

 _This is where you came in. We thought the problem would be at least partially fixed with our younger selves stashed away, but then the Pilgrim chose another tactic. She took the people we loved. You, Sara and Jax's fathers, Stein's wife, and Ray's fiancée Anna, who was killed in the Seige of Starling City back in 2014 (lead by Deathstroke Senior – no wonder he woke us all with his screaming the night after our time in 2046). She gave us an ultimatum: our loved ones for our younger selves. Rip then had the balls to make a counter-offer:_ _his_ _younger self for our loved ones._

 _The Pilgrim agreed to the trade, because if she were to get rid of Rip, then he'd never have formed our team to begin with. We weren't going to let her get away with that, of course. We had a trap set up, centring all on Kid Rip stabbing her while she was distracted by the rest of us. She has this ability to freeze time around her, so should could hold us all off at once, but wouldn't think to pay attention to the scrawny kid, let alone think he'd be good with a knife (it was actually kind of disturbing, how easily he was able to stab her). We completely destroyed her once she was disabled._

 _Maybe some might consider reducing her to a pile of ash to be overkill, but this chick shrugged off bullets, Ray's lasers (hard light beams, whatever), Firestorm's blasts, and falling from the top floor of the Palmer Tech building. We weren't taking_ _any_ _chances._

 _After that, we found the Pilgrim's ship and brought you all back to the Waverider. But you didn't recognize me. Thanks to our team taking my younger self out of the timeline on the day I was born, it changed time so that I was never a part of your life. You had to grow up without me there to protect you from Dad, and killed him in self-defence when you were twelve. I promised that we would fix this, that we'd return my younger self to the timeline and set it back to the way it should be, but you told me that I couldn't promise to succeed. So if I've failed, and this journal has somehow gotten to you anyway, at least this might help explain why. And I'm going to say it again: You're the most important thing in my world. If something's kept me from coming back to you, sis, I promise, I fought to the end._

 _On a lighter note, Mick had another talk with his teen self. He hasn't said much about it, but he walked back onto the ship announcing that he'd pulled the kid's head out of his ass. Nothing seems to have changed, so apparently it didn't stick (Mini-Mick and Mini-Sara will probably have to take these little amnesia pills before we put them back, so that might be why). But the fact that he tried seems to have made him feel a bit better._

 _Back to the bad news: I'm not the only who's been faced with the problem of someone forgetting my existence._ _Stein's wife Clarissa couldn't remember him, either. The old man was heartbroken. We need to wrap up this business with Savage, and fast, or the alterations we've made will become permanent. So we're heading to 2166 tomorrow, to face Savage at the height of his power, which we've been avoiding because of how powerful he is in that time. The only reason we haven't set off yet is because we've made nine jumps one after the other, and it's taken a lot out of us. But we'll be heading into seriously dangerous territory tomorrow._

* * *

 **So, I could use some help for you guys. I have two Captain Canary wedding fics coming up ('Vegas' in the 'Long Way Home' series and ''Til Death Do Us Part' as a standalone). I'd like suggestions for what Len and Sara might choose for the 'First Dance' song, but NOT 'Love Will Keep Us Together' - Mick and I have** ** _plans_ for that one ;).**


	13. Overcoming a Legacy

**So, sorry if this is up a bit later in the day than usual, but I had a family event to go to.**

 **I still can't believe there's only a few chapters left of this. It feels like just yesterday I started writing this baby.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow. The little refugee mentioned in the last paragraph is an OC from my fic 'Three Times Raising Lisa Paid Off'.**

 **WORD COUNT: 1258**

* * *

 _Tuesday, March 25th, 2166_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _I met Savage's daughter today – or should I say yesterday? I just got back to the ship shortly after sunrise. It was a hell of a night._

 _We arrived in 2166 and were nearly shot down out of the sky by Savage's forces, who were in the middle of taking London, which is the last city to fall to his army. To say we had a rough landing was an understatement, but it wasn't the worst we've had – that came later that night. Rip took me, Sara, and Mick to attend a 'We've almost conquered the world' rally Savage was holding for his troops. We were supposed to try and grab him as he was leaving, but one of his lieutenants made us, and our attempt to grab him minutes later failed when more soldiers showed up. Rip was less than pleased – we arrived only three days before his wife and kid will be killed, so the whole 'removed our younger selves from the timeline' thing isn't the only reason we're on a tight deadline._

 _But one good thing that came out of the encounter was that Kendra spotted something she thought she could use to kill Savage: the female lieutenant who made us was wearing a bracelet that belonged to Kendra during her first life. She was wearing it the night Savage first killed her and Carter, so it was exposed to the same radiation they were, which means that, in theory, it is one of the objects that can be used by Kendra or Carter to kill Savage. And yes, I'm aware that a bracelet doesn't exactly scream 'murder weapon', but Birdie eventually thought up a way to do it. But even before she figured it out, we already knew she needed to actually get her hands on the damn thing, so Mick and I snuck into Savage's compound, with every intention of overpowering the lieutenant who'd been wearing it, taking the little trinket, and leaving._

 _But then something happened. She looked me in the eye and called me by name. This woman knew who I was, and I figured she probably knew a lot more about us and our team. So we knocked her on the head and brought her back to the Waverider with us. Rip was less than pleased with us, but once we explained our reasoning, and she calmly introduced herself as Vandal Savage's daughter Cassandra, he became far more interested in her. I volunteered to interrogate her and convince her to help us. Why? Because I know what it's like to grow up with a monster for a father, and I figured I could show her that her father is one, too. She didn't believe me, of course. Savage used Per Degaton to throw the world into chaos, then killed him once the brat was no longer useful, making himself look like the tyrant-overthrowing hero to his followers, and it worked on Cassie. Her mother was killed by Per Degaton's biological warfare agent, the Armageddon Virus, but she didn't know that her father was actually the one behind it – he authorized the use of it to 'thin the herd' outside of Kasnia mere days after we left 2147. Cassie was firmly of the opinion that her father was the world's only hope, and that the resistance fighters we'd met up with were 'dangerous radicals'._

 _It was at that point, however, that trouble came, in the form of a 200-foot-tall ROBOT that walked up, shrugged off all our weapons' fire, and tossed our ship like the World's Biggest Frisbee. I suppose with all this time-travel crap, immortal people, reincarnated people with wings, and metahumans we've encountered, it was only a matter of time before giant robots came onto the scene. It explained how a nearby resistance camp had been completely demolished earlier last night; tents and people with a minimal amount of weapons crushed to death. We were able to save a few dozen refugees from another camp by bringing them on board, but we couldn't save everyone. Some of the fighters stayed behind, not knowing what they were dealing with. Thankfully the people remote-operating robot were apparently more interested in us than them._

 _We were all scrambling to get everything done before it came back for Round 2; I kept talking to Cassandra, Ray and Jax were working on a way to beat the robot, and Mick and Kendra were melting down the bracelet to coat the head of Carter's old mace (and that, Lisa, is how you turn a bracelet into a murder weapon). Stein had to sit out of it all, though, because he'd been injured when we crashed. Sara spent the rest of the time taking care of the refugees, many of whom were also injured and all of whom were scared shitless, and Rip honestly spent a good chunk of it moping in his office._

 _I was, eventually, able to get through to Cassie. It wasn't the crying, terrified refugees (most of them little kids) that moved her, but some footage Rip took of Savage back in 2147, proposing the use of the Armageddon Virus at a shareholder's meeting. Knowing her father was responsible for the death of her mother, Cassie helped us sneak into Savage's headquarters and even helped us fight the guards off while Kendra personally took on Savage herself._

 _She nearly killed him, but then something went wrong, as per usual. One of Savage's other lieutenants tried to stop her, but when she knocked off his helmet in their fight, she saw that it was another reincarnation of Carter. Savage had gotten to him before he could remember his past lives and brainwashed him. The bastard told Kendra that he was the only one who could bring her Carter back, so she took him prisoner instead. Now he's sitting in the same cell we kept Cassie in, and Mick before her._

 _It's stupid. What's happened to Carter is fucked up, no two ways about it. But the whole point of this mission was to kill Savage. Carter joined this mission to kill Savage, and he gave his life trying. But now that we actually have Savage, no one seems to want to do it, except for myself, Rip, Mick, and Sara._

 _As for Cassie, I brought her to the leader of the London rebels. 'Sharon' was less than pleased to see Savage's daughter/right-hand woman, but couldn't deny that her information was too valuable to turn away. Cassie will be helping them dismantle the rest of Savage's forces, which will be easier as long as their leader isn't around. Stein said something to me in Salvation: "'Like father, like son' isn't always inevitable." I just hope Cassie can overcome her father's legacy. I'd like to think I've overcome our father's._

 _But last night was nothing short of action-packed. We arrived shortly after sundown, it's now ten in the morning, and I only just got a chance to get some rest. After dropping Cassie off at the resistance camp around sunrise, I had to help find a missing young refugee, and she would barely leave my side after I found her. She reminded me a bit of you when you were little._

* * *

 **One thing I wondered about a bit, about the whole 'Keeping Savage Alive to Save Carter' thing. What would Carter - the one who actually remembers who he is - want? Would he choose a chance to be back with his soulmate at the cost of someone else's family and thousands of innocents?**

 **Timeline-wise, the team arrived in 2166 on March 24th, and Rip's family died on the 27th. The team will be staying in 2166 for a few days to repair the ship (World's Biggest Frisbee) and leaving on the 27th, but several hours before Miranda and Jonas die.**


	14. That Alexa Feeling

**Oh, God, I can't believe this is almost over. Chapter 15 will be posted in one week, and then, since I'll be taking a TESL course on weekends in September, I won't be posting anything between the 10th and the 25th. Therefore, Chapter 16, which was originally going to be posted on the 15th, will be posted on the 9th (as opposed to waiting until my courses are over and posting it on the 29th.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow.**

 **WORD COUNT: 1604**

* * *

 _The Vanishing Point – Literally the End of Time_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that, to use Mick's words, I've pulled my head out of my ass regarding Sara. The bad news: we've just arrived at the Vanishing Point, home base of the Time Masters._

 _I'm going to start with the good news. We stayed in 2166 for about three more days, helping the rebels fight off Savage's army (which has been falling apart without its leader) and rebuilding London, in addition to making repairs on the Waverider. Mick decided to keep pushing the idea that I have a thing for Sara, because he kept making stupid excuses to force the two of us to work together. Not that working with Sara was an inconvenience, but it was getting really annoying, how Mick stubbornly kept trying to prove a point. And I think he somehow got Kendra in on it, too, because she kept sending Sara my way just as often as Mick kept pushing me to spend time with Sara._

 _But then something happened. One of the rebels started hanging around Sara a lot, helping us out with repairs and stuff, which would've been great, except he was constantly flirting with Sara as he did so. It pissed me off, because she can do_ _so_ _much better than some big, blonde moron who has nothing going for him but his muscles. Thankfully, I found out later that he just wanted her help making his ex-girlfriend jealous, so it was all just a show they put on whenever she was around._

 _On the evening of the third day – March 27th – the Science Squad found evidence that Savage's giant robot came from even further into the future than 2166, so Rip decided to turn Savage in to the Time Masters as a time criminal. As if they would go 'Oh, okay, we'll just send you and your team on your way and leave you alone, now. So sorry we tried to kill you and your loved ones.' I doubt it. Something is_ _very_ _wrong. I've been getting that same feeling I got during the Alexa disaster. I told Mick, and he's even less eager to go back to the Time Masters than the rest of us. It only got worse when the ship basically broke down in the middle of the time stream because Rip ignored the damage we took from the robot attack and pushed her too hard. He sent Jax in to fix the time drive, but after succeeding, the kid was hit with a blast of temporal radiation that started aging him rapidly. By the time I got a look at him, he was about 63 years old, physically. It wouldn't be too long before he died of old age. And Rip knew it would happen, but he sent Jax in there instead of taking care of it himself. He sent Jax off on a suicide mission, knowing it would kill him. Just when I thought he was finally starting to get over his habit of using us as expendable pawns, he did it again._

 _So Mick and I made up our minds. The Jump Ship has a single-use time drive that's good for one time-jump. Rip has been saying that this mission was always voluntary, so we basically quit. We weren't waiting for him to sacrifice us, next. I hoped Sara would come with us, but she doesn't want to run away from the fight, not when she's taken this so far. Even after she said Rip would sell us all out to save his family._

 _I wish she'd tried to come with us. I'm hoping we all come out of this alive, even if it's a one-in-a-million chance, but especially Sara. She's the first one who accepted me and Mick for what we are, and she's already been through so much, but she's still pushing on. She's one of the strongest people I've ever met, and it would be a complete waste to throw her life away for someone who will sacrifice her for a plan that probably won't even work. Mick's seen the worst of what the Time Masters could do (at least I hope that's the worst), and Rip wants to bring the team onto their turf, anyway. It's a suicide mission, and frankly, the whole team deserves better than that._

 _For the record, I'm still on the ship, but not by choice. Stein apparently figured a trip through the time stream would cure Jax, and Mick and I would've been happy to take the kid with us if we could, but the old man forgot we were planning to bail and sent Jax back to 2016 without us. So the kid is probably safe; even if the Time Masters come after him, he'll have the Flash backing him up, and maybe even Team Arrow. But the rest of us are stuck on course to the Vanishing Point, and we may not come back._

 _That was when I finally came to my senses. Mick told me about what the Time Masters would do to us, and I couldn't help but worry about what would happen to Sara, even more than my own fate. Looking back at my older entries, I guess this has been happening for a while. Why the hell didn't I figure it out, yet? If you've read this Lis, you might've put the pieces together already._

 _I like Sara Lance. She's been through so much in her life, and she hasn't let it stop her from wanting to be better than she is. She's the strongest person I know, and I guess I've admired her for a long time. And it's been so long since I've been able to open up to anyone like I have with her. I talked to her about Mick, about what Dad did to us, and so many other things I've never shared with anyone else. It's unfair, really, that I'm only figuring this out when we may only have a few hours left._

 _Mick just laughed at me and said it took me long enough, and that I'd better ask her out soon or he'd lose a bet to Jax._

 _He left me alone to think about that, but I didn't have much time to do any thinking. Vandal Savage escaped from the brig, and trashed the ship even further while we tried to re-capture him. Seems Raymond was dumb enough to pay him a couple visits, fall for the bastard's taunts, and_ _ **OPEN THE DOOR AND WALK INTO THE CELL**_ _. Mick's still contemplating killing him for his stupidity, or at least beating some sense into him. Because naturally, the 4000-year-old immortal psychopath kicked his ass and got out, freed a still-brainwashed Carter, and knocked Gideon offline. Sara and Stein had to help Rip navigate and steer the ship while the rest of us tried to fight Savage and Carter. Mick and I got blasted into a wall and knocked out, and when we woke up, we learned that Rip came to back us up (and since Ray was knocked out, too, it was just him and Kendra fighting), then Carter's memories came back when Savage was about to kill Kendra. Our dead-and-reincarnated teammate apparently managed to get a few hits in on the bastard before getting stabbed, but Kendra managed to rally and knock Savage out and drag him back to his cell._

 _Sara also piloted the Waverider for the first time when Rip came to help us. Stein won't stop singing her praises. And no, she hasn't had any prior training. Color me impressed. And no, I'm not just saying it because I like her._

 _After that crazy fight, we kept going on and made it to the Vanishing Point. Rip has taken Savage to present him to the Time Council and have him put to justice for his crimes. I still feel like something is going to wrong – I seriously doubt they're going to see reason – but there's nothing I can do about it. So I got to thinking about my earlier epiphany. I can't believe it took me this long to figure out how I felt about Sara. It's like… if everyone has light and dark in them, we've both been in the dark for the longest time, but we bring out the light in each other. It's been so long since I've known anyone I could trust like her. You'd like her, too. But I don't know if we're both coming back from the Vanishing Point once we get there. So I'm going to do something I've never done before._

 _I'm going to take the risk and just talk to her, to tell her how I feel. Maybe she'll feel the same way, maybe she won't. But I don't have the time to craft a plan, and besides, my planning expertise lies in the area of criminal enterprises. All I can come up with is to go for a game of cards, like usual, and bring it up during the game._

 _Wish me luck, Lisa._

* * *

 **The story of how Len finally figured out his feelings for Sara can be found in more detail in my fic 'Green-Eyed Monster', which has already been posted.**


	15. Going Out a Hero

**Oh God, here it is: Leonard's last journal entry. There will still be one more chapter, which I'm writing today/tomorrow and posting tomorrow.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow.**

 **WORD COUNT: 1726**

* * *

 _Still at the Vanishing Point_

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _I had no idea so much could go so wrong in so little time. Sara and I were playing cards in her room, and I was getting ready to talk to her about..._ _us, when I started getting that Alexa feeling again. Not that it ever really went away, but it came back worse than ever. The Time Masters' soldiers were raiding the ship and taking our team prisoner. Luckily, Sara and I managed to evade them, and I led her to a hidden passage I found early on in the mission. We waited until the troopers had all left before coming out of hiding._

 _This is where I do something stupid. I've told you already that I had a feeling something really bad was going to happen. The Time Masters had the rest of the team, even a still-comatose Carter. We were in their territory, not ours. We didn't know the layout, and there was only the two of us against who knows how many of them. I didn't think we could win. And I was afraid of what would happen if we got caught – if they decided to do to us what they did to Mick, instead of just killing us. What they were probably doing to him again right that moment. So even though I have that code of never abandoning my crew, I decided to try and leave. In my mind, there was nothing Sara and I_ _could_ _do for them. Sara refused to leave, so I pulled the Cold Gun on her._

 _It was so stupid of me. Sara's got a poker face almost as good as mine, but I could tell it hurt her, me holding her at gunpoint. Just minutes earlier, I was about to admit how much I liked her, and suddenly I was tearing down her trust, just like that._

 _But she knew I wouldn't actually fire on her. And she was right. I was scared, dammit, and I didn't know what to do, but I couldn't hurt her. She just looked me in the eye, reminded me about how I talked her down in Russia, and challenged me to shoot her._

 _Our tense little standoff was interrupted by a phone, of all things, ringing. An old, early-model telephone that sat among the antiques Rip had scattered across his office. I'd seen it before, but I had no idea the damn thing was even functional. Gideon turned out to be on the other end, announcing that she was back online, and that she knew where the team was and that she had a plan to rescue them._

 _It involved sabotaging the other Time Ships in the hangar the Waverider had been towed into, flying out of the Vanishing Point, and then flying back in. The virus Gideon created, which Sara and I got into their computers by placing some future tech on the ships' hulls, was supposed to just shut the ships down after they started up, but I added a bit of psychological warfare: if the virus worked, all the AIs affected by it started singing this Captain and Tennille song Mick put on at the bar we visited back in '75, for old times' sake. Once we returned, Sara and Gideon dropped me off at the closest entrance to the room the team was being held in, and kept most of the security occupied. I found the holding room, but found myself facing what I'd been worried about the most. Mick was back in his Chronos armor, and I thought they'd brainwashed him again. Thankfully he turned out to be faking it, having beaten their attempts somehow, and instead killed the Time Master who ordered him to kill me._

 _We all got back onto the Waverider and got away, after Ray managed to hack the silly tractor beam the Time Masters tried to use on us, and Rip was able to explain what happened._

 _It was worse than I expected. The Time Masters have been working with Vandal Savage all along. They let Rip make his little speech about how the bastard was a time criminal, then they set Savage free, tossed Rip in a cell, and sent their minions to grab the rest of us. Then they let Savage take a time ship back to 2166 and bring Kendra and Carter with him._

 _Then Rip hit us with the biggest whammy: the Time Masters have a device called the Oculus that basically allows them to manipulate time and anything in it. They've been controlling us from the start – the deaths of Rip's wife and son were even ordered by them, as they'd just sent Savage off to do just that. Looking back over these past entries, I can see stupid errors in judgement and bad decisions that we shouldn't have made: not finding a picture of 'Sasha Mahnovski' back in '75, Rip not sending in Sara for backup in '86… Mick's betrayal was probably part of their plan, as it gave them one of their most feared bounty hunters. All of us (minus Jax) getting to the Vanishing Point was definitely their idea._

 _The only reason we were able to escape was because the Vanishing Point, in Rip's words, 'exists outside of time'. We are only immune as long as we remain in the Vanishing Point, so the only way to be completely free is to destroy it while we have the chance. So we're circling around to attack the Oculus's location and do just that. It's a crazy plan, but it's literally our only option. If we try to leave the Vanishing Point while it's still working, we'll be under the Time Masters' control again, and we may never get another chance._

 _We have maybe an hour of downtime (the Vanishing Point is_ _huge_ _) before we get there. I'm going to give talking to Sara a second try, not that I ever actually got around to a proper first try. I just hope pulling a gun on her hasn't completely ruined my chances._

* * *

 _Dear Lisa,_

 _We haven't met, but I'm sure by now you know plenty about me through what your brother has written here. I just found this journal by accident, and I think you have the right to know what happened to him._

 _My name is Sara Lance._

 _When we arrived at the Oculus Wellspring, the Time Masters were waiting for us. Like_ _your brot_ _Snart_ _Leonard said, they couldn't control us at the Vanishing Point, but they must have predicted that we would go there after finding out about it, because what other option did we have? They had an ambush set up, but Jax returned in the Jump Ship and took a bunch of them out that way before re-merging with Stein. I can't remember his explanation for how he got back to us. It isn't really important. Rip took Ray and Mick inside the building while the rest of us held off the soldiers. When Rip came out alone, we knew something was wrong. He had a shrunken-down and unconscious Ray in his pocket, but said that Mick had chosen to stay behind._

 _You see, the Oculus had a failsafe. A piece of the machine that had to be manually held in place in order for the Oculus to blow. Ray later told us that he was planning to be the one to hold it down, but Mick decided to knock him on the head and take his place. Those two really have formed an odd friendship since Ray took a beating for Mick in the Russian prison. Mick told me he wanted to be the one to take the Time Masters out after everything they've done to him._

 _When your brother heard about this, he raced back into the Oculus building, and I followed him. I didn't hear what the two of them said to each other, but I saw Leonard hitting Mick on the head with the Cold Gun and taking his place. He told me to get his partner out of there._

 _I didn't want to leave him. He was the first person in a long time that made me feel_ _human. When he came to me and talked about_ _us_ _'him and me', I was still mad at him for pointing his Cold Gun at me, I wasn't sure if he was being serious with me, and I was scared. I didn't know what I felt about that, so I pushed him away. I thought I would have more time to think about it before giving him a proper answer._

 _I was an assassin for seven years, and my targets rarely saw death coming. I was dead for a year, and I never saw it coming. I should have known better than to assume I had time._

 _I finally figured out how I felt about him:_ _I think I love him._ _I love him. And it took seeing him ready to die for me to figure it out._

 _I didn't have enough time to tell him. I only had a few minutes to drag Mick out of there before the Oculus blew up, or all three of us would have been killed. So I kissed Leonard goodbye. It was the only way I could even begin to show him how I felt, to apologize for how I talked to him._

 _The Oculus blew as Rip flew the ship away. The Time Masters' base at the Vanishing Point was destroyed. They'll never be able to control us or anyone else again. And they can't help Vandal Savage anymore._

 _Your brother died a hero. He would probably gripe about being called that. But he was a hero. He sacrificed his life so that the people he cared about could live. And he deserves to be remembered for that, as the man who would do anything for the ones closest to him._

 _We're going to keep hunting Savage. We're going to see this through for Leonard. I promise you, Lisa, his sacrifice won't be in vain._

* * *

 **I am of the firm belief that the singing AIs were Len's idea. The dive bar in St. Roch 1975 was practically their first date (well, if you ignore Mick being there... or count him as a 'chaperone' - who did a pretty lousy chaperoning job since he joined the bar brawl instead of stopping it, but what else would you expect from him?).**


	16. Legend

**Well, this is it. The final chapter of 'Dear Lisa'. It's been just over three months since I started posting this baby, and I just want to say thank you to everyone who's reviewed, favourited, and followed this thing. I'll start posting the next story in the series, 'The Darkness that Keeps You Up At Night', in a couple weeks' time, but until then, I hope you've enjoyed this.**

 **Oh, and if you haven't already read it, the story of how Mick and Sara tell Lisa about Leonard's death is already up on my profile, a Flash crossover called 'Casualty Notification'.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow.**

 **WORD COUNT: 4119**

* * *

 _Monday, May 30_ _th_ _, 2016_

Lisa stared at Lenny's journal for at least an hour before she got up the courage to open it. It was black leather – real leather, because Lenny wouldn't settle for anything but the best unless he had to. It had one of those little bookmark ribbons attached to it, but Lisa didn't open it to that, instead starting at the beginning. The sight of her brother's neat handwriting – small enough that you had to squint at – caused an unexpected pang in her chest, but she kept reading.

The very first entry was dated October 17th, 1975, and began with 'Dear Lisa', and an insistence that this wasn't actually a letter to her, despite that. He just apparently didn't want to write 'Dear Diary' like some ten-year-old girl. If he were here, Lisa would have pointed out that he didn't really need to start it with any sort of greeting. Lenny described how some lunatic knocked him and Mick out and somehow brought them all the way to Star City and pitched the idea of travelling through time and saving the world from some immortal lunatic named Vandal Savage. He explained his reasons for deciding to go, including the stealing opportunities that Mick had brought up when giving Lisa the heartbreaking news, but also admitting that the idea of doing better than he had before had gotten to him. Lisa also noted that Lenny had slipped up; when mentioning the Flash, Lenny had written and then crossed out the letters 'Bar'. So she guessed the Scarlet Speedster's first or last name started with those letters.

He listed all the people he was travelling with: A couple hero friends of the Flash, a pair of reincarnated bird people who were apparently that Savage guy's mortal enemies, and Sara. The woman Mick had brought with him to tell Lisa the news of Lenny's death. Maybe it was because Mick had already said Lenny had had feelings for her, but Lisa thought it was already rather obvious as she read on – though she was not all that surprised when Lenny admitted to staring at the blonde's ass.

He talked about ditching the ship once they arrived in the seventies and Sara and the 'Rogues' got benched, and how they got into a bar brawl and Sara took down six guys single-handedly before letting the boys join. Lisa glanced up at the blonde in question at that point, sitting in the front passenger seat of the car as they drove back to Central. Of course Lenny would fall for a badass; damsels in distress could never hold his interest.

Lenny closed that entry with a short explanation about how they were going against the rules of the Time-Traveler's, Hunter's, old bosses. Not that that would dismay a pair of career criminals. His closing comment about 'flipping history off' made her smile.

The second entry was about their second day in the seventies, in which they failed to kidnap Savage at an arms auction, Lenny stole a dagger from Savage himself, only for that to fail as the bastard got away and one of the bird-people, a guy named Carter, was dead. Just like Mick had said before, Lenny took it as a personal offence when someone messed with his crew; if it happened after the job was over and they went their separate ways, he couldn't care less, but when they were still working together… yes, Lenny would never let Carter's murder go unavenged.

Lisa couldn't help but shed a few more tears as she read the last paragraph, how Lenny said that after Carter died, he couldn't be sure he wasn't going to die, either. So from that point on, all these entries really were his letters to her from the grave. It both broke her heart and erased that small, wriggling doubt over reading her brother's private journal.

The third entry actually did bring forth more tears; she caught Mick looking at her in the rear view mirror, but he said nothing.

Lenny had tried to change their past. Tried to save their father from turning into the monster that would be their waking nightmare, would put scars on their hearts, minds, and bodies, and would eventually force Lenny to kill him when he took one more step too far. And Lenny had failed to change it. He quoted Hunter saying 'time wants to happen', and she remembered Mick repeating it like a slogan just that morning. How many times had they been forced to face that reality? To try and change something only for it to find another way to happen?

The fourth entry was the first one to not be from 1975. They'd moved on to 1986, and Lenny went on about their clumsy infiltration of the Pentagon – damn, he must've been enjoying that until things started going wrong – and outdoing some guy named Ray or Raymond (Lenny tended to switch between the two) in seducing a Russian scientist to get access to her workplace and her secret projects. Then she just turned out to be as mad as Dr. Frankenstein, and half the team was captured, and Lenny had been _pissed_ at Hunter for not sending in enough backup and forcing Lenny to abandon Mick and two others while retreating.

Her impression of this Hunter guy was not helped at all by the next entry, but her impression of Sara's was. Aside from the exciting story that was breaking Mick and the others out of a particularly nasty Soviet gulag, Lisa learned that Sara had been through a ton of shit, and that Hunter was willing to use his crew as pawns without taking into consideration what it might do to them. That he let his fear of the worst-case scenario sabotage his own Plan A and create a Plan B that would have probably torn the whole team apart. Lenny went into a lot of detail about how much Sara had already had suffered, and what being forced to kill a teammate would have done to her. Lisa was absolutely certain he'd already started falling for her by then, but it seemed that he hadn't figured it out himself.

Entry Number Six was the last one Lisa read before they arrived in Central and she put the journal away to read the rest later. It was informative to say the least. They went to a post-apocalyptic future Star City, Lenny learned who the Green Arrow was (Oliver Queen? Really?), and he and Mick got into a serious argument. It seemed Lenny had become more committed to the mission than Mick had – at least at that point – and had forced him to leave with the team instead of staying and causing chaos in the police-free city. Although Lenny had a very good point: there were two people on that team, including Sara, who called that city home, and they would do whatever they could to prevent that bad future from happening, so what would have happened to Mick if he'd stayed there?

* * *

Lisa convinced Mick and Sara she was fine in the safe house alone as he went and picked up some food and Sara went to her mother's. She curled up on the (stolen) leather sofa and continued reading.

She had a hard time reading the next entry; Lenny's hands must have been shaking, which only proved how upset he'd been when Mick had betrayed the team? Obviously they got over that, or Sara wouldn't have been with him and vouched for him… unless she was a traitor, too. Lisa pushed on, determined to know what had happened.

Lenny learned a lot more personal information about Sara's story as they bonded for a week with nothing else to do. He even asked Lisa to not even tell Sara that she knew, to wait until Sara was comfortable with telling her herself. Between that and the near-death experience he then shared with the assassin, Lisa decided that, if anything, Mick and Sara had been telling the truth about Lenny's feelings. Lisa wasn't even halfway through the journal, and she already knew more about that woman than their other teammates combined.

Lisa could almost imagine how hard it must have been for Lenny to choose between Mick and the team. He'd definitely gotten attached to them, between teaching that Jax kid how to fight or trading funny stories about her with the others – Lisa made a mental note to ask Sara if he'd spilled about any of her more embarrassing childhood moments. And she agreed that Mick had broken Lenny's code first by selling the team out. But they'd known each other for almost thirty years. Part of her was angry that Lenny would throw that away for some people he'd only known a couple of weeks. But it sounded like Mick turning on the team had hurt Lenny personally. As far as Lenny was concerned, Mick had betrayed him first.

The following entry was a bit of a breather. They went to the fifties and dealt with Savage turning people into scary bird monsters, and on top of that, Jax and the other woman on the team, Kendra, had to deal with people in the fifties being racist bastards. Lenny also took note that Jax, who thought Lenny had killed Mick for his betrayal, was still fighting Mick's corner. Lenny had been glad that someone else had given a shit about Mick, regardless of whatever it was that pushed him over the edge, and to be honest, Lisa was, too.

She only got a bit into the fourth paragraph of Lenny's next entry before putting the journal down in shock and grabbing her Gold Gun, keeping it right next to her so that she'd have it on hand when Mick came back. According to Lenny, Mick had been 'rescued' from where Lenny had left him by the Time Masters and turned into one of their bounty hunters. He'd attacked them in 1975 and killed Kendra and Carter's son from a past life (although she did find some humour when she flipped back to that entry and noted that Mick had hit _his future self_ with a car), he'd shot down their ship and caused them to crash in Future Star City, which led to his original fight with Lenny that led to him being left behind and becoming 'Chronos' in the first place, and he'd hijacked the ship and kidnapped Lenny. Then he'd threatened to kill Lisa over and over just to make Lenny suffer. Lenny had been right when explaining his reasons for leaving Mick in the middle of nowhere instead of their own place and time – until reading this, Lisa would have trusted Mick not to hurt her, and never would have seen it coming.

It chilled her to the bone to read what Lenny had to do to escape: freezing and shattering his own hand, leaving himself crippled for life had it not been for magic future technology. And he hadn't known that he wouldn't have to spend the rest of his life with only one hand. He'd been desperate enough to risk that fate.

A part of her relaxed when Mick was captured instead of killed, and the team wanted to reform him. Because it offered Lisa a glimmer of hope that maybe she would be safe the next time Mick walked into the safe house. But Lenny was skeptical about undoing 'lifetimes' of conditioning, and warned her to not trust his old partner until he personally told her it was safe. She hoped that assurance was somewhere in this journal, because unless Mick and Sara were lying about him being dead, Lenny would never be able to give it to her in person.

Lenny told her about a dream he had where he was forced to choose between her and Sara. If he couldn't see what that meant – that Sara had become so important to him that he'd actually hesitate to make that choice – then he really was a fool, blind to his own feelings. He even took a short detour through his worries about Mick to worry how being stuck in the League of Assassins for an extra two years would affect her, and how, when she found out about the dream, she'd said she'd support him choosing Lisa over the team.

The tenth entry described their trip to the twenty-second century, and the whole debate over killing a kid before he grew up to become as bad as Hitler. With Savage as a tutor and role model, what else could that brat grow up to be? But more importantly, Lenny and Mick apparently decided to settle their issues in what was essentially a cage match, and while Mick chose to not kill Lenny despite completely kicking his ass, it wasn't just because of their old friendship or anything like that. Mick had known that someone else would be coming after the team, and would try to kill him, too, so he'd rejoined them for the sake of strength in numbers. It could explain why Sara was with him, but Lisa wasn't one hundred percent sure yet.

Mick came back just as she starting the entry about Sara tearing Lenny a new one for the whole cage match thing and the team hiding out in the Old West. She immediately dropped the journal and raised the Gold Gun, pointing it right at him. Mick stopped in his tracks, but didn't look surprised in the slightest. "Guess you got to the bit about Chronos, huh?"

"How do I know I can trust you?" Lisa growled, "How do I know you're not still the bounty hunter that wanted to kill me just to hurt Lenny?" And God, the threat itself hurt, the idea that he'd even talk about hurting the same girl he used to babysit when she was really little and Lenny had to pull a late shift to keep the roof over their heads and CPS from taking her away. The girl he'd taught how to beat up the asshole who'd cheated on her in high school.

Mick actually flinched at that. "Just keep reading," he said sadly, "We made up, I swear."

Right. He'd said that Lenny had died saving his life. "If you're lying…" she threatened, "I _will_ kill you."

Mick didn't argue, just set the bags of food down on a table and went into a back room, leaving her alone. Lisa repositioned herself so that she'd be able to see him the instant he came back out, and continued reading.

It seemed it wasn't just Lenny getting attached to his new team; according to what Sara had told him, the others would have rallied behind Lenny and Lisa if they'd had to. It helped that Lenny personally saved the lives of two teammates single-handedly while in the Old West, while they seemed to have pulled off their own version of that Western movie from the sixties… what was it called? Oh yeah, 'The Magnificent Seven' (she was pretty sure she'd heard rumours about a remake coming up).

Lenny's twelfth entry scared her for completely different reasons. Thankfully, Lenny did assure her at the beginning that he was trusting Mick again, but then he and the team had had to deal with an assassin trying to kill them in the past, by essentially kidnapping their past selves as she was trying to kill them. Lisa wasn't surprised that a 16-year-old Mick had tried making a move on a teenaged version of Sara, and she found herself wondering if the blonde had taken a picture of Baby Lenny, because she hadn't seen any, herself.

But what really disturbed her was learning that this assassin, the Pilgrim (what kind of name was that?) had kidnapped her when she couldn't get Baby Lenny. Lisa didn't remember anything like that. Lenny said that because they'd taken his newborn self out of the timeline, time had been altered so that she'd grown up with no big brother to protect her, that she hadn't recognised him at all. Lisa could only assume that Baby Lenny had been put back since then.

The next entry was about another trip to the future, this one to right before Savage conquered the world and killed Hunter's family. Lenny had met Savage's daughter, found some sort of parallel between the immortal bastard and Lewis Snart when it came to parenting, and used it to turn her to their side. Considering that Savage had apparently been alive for four thousand years, Lisa wondered what his other children had been like – and why they'd even existed, if he was so obsessed with Kendra. She also admitted to snorting when Lenny had brought up the two-hundred-foot-tall robot, and how he didn't really seem to be as surprised as a person with a normal life should be.

Lisa found herself fully agreeing with Lenny about Kendra's decision to keep Savage alive to save a reincarnated, brainwashed Carter: It was stupid. She should just kill him, come back to 2016, and then work on killing him in an earlier time so that the brainwashing bit never happened. And Savage could have been lying about being the only one who knew how to save Carter! Maybe they could have found another way!

She really was starting to lose faith in Lenny's teammates, as by the next entry, he explained that most of them had stuck with Kendra, and those on Lenny's side of the argument couldn't actually do anything about it. And Hunter's Plan B – turn Savage over to his old bosses and expect them to act reasonably after trying to kill the team so many times – was just ludicrous. She was genuinely worried about Lenny being stuck on the ship on the way to the 'Vanishing Point', but she knew Mick and Sara had gotten back. But somehow, Lisa just knew that that place was where Lenny had died.

On the plus side, Lenny had finally figured out that he had the hots for Sara. It was really about time. And she wondered if he got up the guts to ask her out before he died.

She soon got her answer. Lenny's final entry described how the Time Masters were Savage's allies, the same ones Mick had described, just not by name. Lisa wanted to smack him upside the head for pulling the Cold Gun on the girl he liked. She couldn't believe her genius-in-his-own-right brother had done something so _stupid_. The entry ended with him planning to confess his feelings to Sara before they went to blow up the Time Masters' time-controlling machine.

And that was probably the last thing Lenny ever wrote, because the last entry in the journal wasn't in his handwriting. It was Sara's.

She'd written it before killing Savage, before accompanying Mick to give Lisa the bad news. She told Lisa about how Mick had tried to kill all the Time Masters at the cost of his own life (if had been that bad, then Lisa felt she might be able to forgive him for what he'd done as Chronos), but Lenny had taken his place. She told Lisa about how, before that whole battle, Lenny had come to her and basically confessed, she'd pushed him away because she was still (reasonably) mad about him pulling the Cold Gun on her, and about how she'd kissed him right before he'd died in an attempt to tell him that yes, she had loved him back.

Lisa had had to put the journal away after finishing, and laid back, fighting off a fresh batch of tears. Sara called Lenny a hero. Apparently the whole team was calling him that. But he'd been Lisa's hero first, for as long as she could remember.

* * *

 _Thursday, June 2_ _nd_ _, 2016_

Mick had told her that the Waverider crew was meeting up with Team Flash at Saints and Sinners to honour Lenny's memory. It would have been his birthday, after all. And while her first instinct was to wallow in grief on her dead brother's birthday, she let him talk her into going. She found herself wondering what he would think as she threw herself into Cisco's arms when she spotted him there. Lenny's team knew him well by now, but Cisco was the only one she'd told about what Lenny had meant to _her_.

After the initial toast once Sara and a tall, handsome, dark-haired guy (soon identified as Raymond the Annoying Shrinking Idiot Billionaire Genius Geek) arrived, Lisa pulled Sara aside. "He really did love you," she said, blurting it out because she didn't know how to beat around the bush about this. Or maybe she just didn't have the energy to do so.

Sara looked at her with surprise. "What?"

"Lenny. I read his journal, like you and Mick asked. It took him until you guys were already on your way to the Vanishing Point to figure it out, but I'm his sister; I know how to read between the lines."

The blonde resurrected ex-assassin who'd stolen Lenny's heart looked down sadly. "I hurt him," she whispered, "I pushed him away, and I'll never be able to take it back. You must hate me for that."

"His last entry was before you had that conversation," Lisa admitted, "But I think he knew you wanted to. He had nothing but respect for you." She sniffed. "I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you, earlier."

"Don't be. You'd just gotten some of the worst news in your life."

Something about her tone reminded Lisa of something else she'd learned from Mick. "Mick said you lost your sister, recently, so… I guess you'd get it better than anyone else here."

Sara continued staring at her almost-empty drink. She'd ordered the strongest stuff the bar had to offer, Lisa recalled, and she wasn't even tipsy. "Laurel was the one who brought me back from the dead, and the one who encouraged me to go on this mission. I wouldn't have met Leonard if not for her. I would've died alongside her, too."

Lisa nodded. Mick had said that much as well.

"I just wish Rip had dropped us off before the big fight once we killed Save. I wanted to be the one to kill Darhk."

"Darhk? Damien Darhk? Lenny mentioned him in the journal. An arms auction in the seventies?"

Sara gave a shaky half-laugh. "Yeah. My sister's killer was within touching distance, and I couldn't kill him. Not that I knew what he was going to do to her, but…"

She trailed off. Lisa looked over her shoulder and watched the rest of their group talking and bonding over their shared loss – losses, possibly, as she was sure Raymond, at least, had known Laurel as well. All these people were missing Lenny, even some of the people he'd threatened and hurt. For so long, it had just been her, Lenny, and Mick. But in the past five months, the number of people who cared about him and would miss him when he was gone had increased from two to twelve, although Lisa felt that saying so on the parts of Team Flash (aside from that young-looking guy named Barry who _had_ to be Flash himself) was a little generous.

Lenny had always been careful about who he let into his life, not wanting to get hurt. But these people he _had_ let in had chosen to back him up when he was in trouble, to rally around him when he was hurt, and had cared enough to look past the cold front he always put up.

Lisa didn't know most of them all that well, but if they were important to Lenny, then they deserved a chance from her as well.

THE END

* * *

 **Note to self: I should have written this chapter alongside the rest of the story, instead of writing the ENTIRE chapter in the space of a few hours.**


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